Rose

Chapter 2

my name is Caleb Micheal Miller, extremely unextraordinary.   like I said before I'm tall about 6'2" now at 17. I have curly black hair and freckles I have pretty average features if I'm being completely honest. I'm Italian (but I've never even been to Italy) so I'm kind of tan. I grew up in chapel hill, North Carolina. it was boring there but extremely beautiful. I've visited many places but nothing has compared...  to the green, the fresh, wonderful, fragrant air. the trees so tall you really get a feel for your true size. the immediate therapeuticness of it all. my mother's name is Maria, my fathers is John, and my little brother whos 14 now is Jake. we have lived in the same house all my life, a large colonial in the middle of the woods. I love the solidarity nature is definitely my element. my moms a regular mom except for the fact that she's mine. shes very caring and loving and an AMAZING cook I mean seriously good. my dads outgoing and nice, big on dad jokes. he works at an accounting firm. my mom works at a fancy hair salon in Raleigh. we were an upper middle class so I never had the struggle of being poor. I didn't have many struggles growing up if I'm being honest. I have blessed a perfectly happy and normal childhood besides the occasional bump or scrape. also as I said before I am generally popular. our school has always been small many people who go there have known each other since Pre-K there aren't many new people around. so I've had an adequate amount of time to get to know all of my peers and my taking part of sports counted for a lot.  but even with a vast group of friends on the inside, I wanted to be alone. I was like two people, the Caleb who was popular outgoing and had tons of friends, and the Caleb who was content blocking out the world with a good book and who's favorite past time was people watching. on the outside - outgoing and outspoken; inside - shy as fuck. that's maybe why I didn't talk to her until it happened. or maybe it was because when you hold someone that high on a pedestal you're afraid that if you really get to know them they won't be everything you thought they would be. I'm not good with disappointment, I'm definitely a sore loser.after the day at school and the face punching, I religiously watched her, I'm making myself sound like a stalker but it was more noticing I noticed everything about her. I'm sure she caught me staring a couple times probably thinking " why does that creep stare at me 24/7 and never talk to me?" and I didn't not one-word I probably couldn't if I tried. lucky for me, all of middle school didn't have one class with her. but I saw. I saw her make groups of friends. I saw boys approach her and heard enough about it - she wasn't unnoticed. I never once saw or heard about a boyfriend. it's very selfish and ignorant of me to hope for this. I had not tried to talk to her, so why did I feel like I had claimed to her. I was downright delirious. I saw her grow up she was still short but older looking I'm sure we all know what I mean. as for me, many girls approached me but I also had turned them all down still pining for a girl who I couldn't even talk to. my parents probably thought I was a saint while my peers probably questioned whether I was asexual. I mean, what type of teenage boy surrounded by hot chicks is not hell-bent on doing it as much as possible. I mean I really could've had it out. except I couldn't I wanted her. I've kissed before but couldn't get into it, it felt like a betrayal. like I said I was completely delusional, but I held on to the thought the universe was going to be on my side and eventually it would bring us together and mine would be whole. I was right. kind of.