Rose

Chapter 6

Upon walking into the doorway of the room it finally hit me. The barade of questions that had been building up in the sub conscious of my paralyzed mind. Why? Why did she do this? What was so bad that happened that had caused her to want to die? Where the fuck were this girls parents? What did that have to do with this? I mean their child just almost died and they blocked her number? Am i in the fucking twilight zone? And then hit my selfish questions. Im literally about to be face to face with the girl whos occupied at least 80% of my thoughts since the moment i saw her literally 6 years ago. What will she think of me? What will she say? Should i even ask her to explain? All of these question hurricaned around in my head in the couple of seconds for me to walk into the room and to her bed. There was a curtain shielding her from me. She was in a shared room and her bed was at the end. I paused for a second and gathered myself. god i had been crying a lot she was definitely going to be able to tell... i took a deep breath and peaked my head around the other side of the curtain. Her hospital bed was propped up so that she was sitting up. She looked exhausted but awake.her eyes were droopy and there was large dark circles under them. She was shaking ever so slightly which i can understand cause hospitals are cold as fuck. She had on a hospital gown and one of those awful tablecloth blankets they give you. There was an iv in her hand dripping that clear liquid stuff into her.

"Hi" i said her eyes widened when she saw me standing there.

"hi " she squeaked " your that guy..." she trailed off. Her Eyes began to close. something inside me flipped out.

" ROSE" i almost yelled taking a step towards her.

" wah?" she exclaimed her eyes wide now.

" i'm sorry " i could feel it again a tear rolled down my cheek even tho i was willing it back into my eyes i cursed my will in my head. " just please don't go to sleep " i walked over and sat in the chair near her bed all the while she was watching me thoughtfully. I put my head in my hands so she couldn't see me crying. Didn't block out the sound of my sobs unfortunately. " i don't want you to die" sob " please dont die" it was silent for a long time i was still hiding behind my hands but i had to make sure so i looked up. She was staring at me looking really surprised.

" no offence" she said slowly " but why do you even care"

"Because i love you" I said exasperated. I regretted it the minute it came out of my mouth and the look on her face only validated my horror. My hands now clamped over my mouth i cringed with anticipation.

"You don't even know me" she sounded annoyed " i've never even talked to you so how can you say that you love me?" there was a hint of disgust in her voice now.

" i... I dont know" i sobbed again " I just do, always have" her face was twisted into a look of pity and annoyance. Now i wanted to die. Just disappear into oblivion, go back to the nothingness to her that i was before. Then her face changed she looked like a mom whose child just did something disappointing and she already expected it.

" hi" she sighed " my name is rose"

" im Caleb" i said surprised.

" yeah i think i've seen you around school"

" well we have been in the same school since 6th grade so might be a possibility"

"I've caught you looking at me" she said thoughtfully " why is that?"

" well the first time i saw you was a little crazy" i began " i think it might of been your first day, it was november. There was a fight on the recess feild and you stepped in and got punched in the face. Remember that?"

" yeah" she giggled a little remembering the event. There was an awkward silence in which i didn't say anything cause i was analyzing her reaction. She cleared her throat " go on?"

" well horrifying as it was; it was love at first sight for me." i laughed a little and her face had stopped being angry. She was listening intently. " so after that ordeal naturally with strong feelings such as mine, i coward in the shadows like a complete buffoon and watched you instead of being a man and asserting my feelings. I sat miserable every day cause i had the ability to talk to everyone around me except the one i wanted too and who occupied all my thoughts. I know i know im a delusional son of a bitch. Does Not change my feelings though"

"Wow" she said.

"I know" i grinned. " so by now obviously you must have discovered you are hopelessly in love with me as well and we will walk into the sunset hand in hand"

" wow" she said again now laughing. She comically wiped a tear from her eyes. And then her face got serious. Her eyes welled up and she began to cry and wipe real tears from her eyes. "Thank you' she sobbed "i haven't laughed for real in a long ass time."

"Hey its ok" i got up and stood next to her, patting her back. She looked up at me tears streaming down her face

" you only live once" she said scooting over a little. " will you sit with me?"

I didn't move for a second stunned. Everything i've ever wanted was right in front of me talking to me telling me to sit with her. Had i been the one to die and go to heaven?

She looked a little sad and bowed her head "sorry"

" no no" i said sitting next to her on the bed it was a little small for both of us

" thank you caleb" she said turning on her side and nestling her head into my shoulder. It took every muster of strength i had not to squeal like a 12 year old girl with excitement. " i'm sorry" she cried, "i'm sorry you had to see that"

"i'm really glad i was there " i sighed "Rose, i know we don't know each other yet but i've always had faith that we would one day"

"Its weird" she said " i feel like i do know you, i feel at peace? I don't know why but i feel comfortable around you"

" really? you sounded kind of angry before"

" that's because my dumb human brain could not comprehend that it's possible to be in love with someone you don't know. I don't know how to explain it but..." she paused " it's like everything we do is based on reason, things have to be a certain way or order to the way they are done and if it's out of order it's improbable. One of the biggest concepts of the universe is that things tend to go from order to disorder not the other way around. People seem to forget that, we as humans create a way of life and set of ideals and force in on other people. We tell everyone around us to be realistic but we are the ones who make our realities... so what is "realistic anyways. No one understands the fact that we only have one life and we are free conscious beings so we should do everything we want and make ourselves happy. Also, i don't think we give enough credit to the spiritual aspect of our beings. Or The law of attraction if you will" she laughed "also i was really angry to be alive when i woke up and i was angry someone was acting like they knew me but its not your fault no one wants to watch someone die even if you dont know them"

I just looked at her in awe thanking the universe a million times over in my head.