Never Just Right

Chapter 4

What is your favourite book series?

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Shawn POV

As I lay down next to her, she automatically lifts her head and puts it on my rock hard shoulder. She gazes at the twinkling spots of light in the void of unknown creatures above our heads as she whispers. "There are a thousand times a thousand billion stars, and yet none of them is prettier than the other. Each of them have their own chemistry that makes them different, making each of them so much more beautiful and extraordinary." As I glance over to her soft delicate face, her words suddenly makes sense. Everytime I look at her she's different, not in a bad way, it's exciting and daring and satisfying. And sudden thought rush through my thoughts,

She is all of my stars and full of all my tomorrows

As she lifts herself up and looks me in the eye, I was shocked beyond repair because I realize who's face I'm seeing.

What scary dream was that?

Well not scary exactly, more shocking.

Why in the actual fuck would I have a dream like that? More importantly, why would I have a dream like that about my BEST FRIEND? What does it mean? Fantastic! Now I'm shocked and confused as fuck.

My eyes adjust to the darkness around me. I can see Bennett holding Clare while they sleep peacefully. I don't feel Thalia anywhere. Last time I checked, she was all curled up against me. It never ceases to amaze me how a girl can fit so perfectly against me, well not any girl, just Thalia. With her small hands always clenching my shirt, or when I'm not wearing one, my hands. As if she is scared to let go. Last night was not an exception though. But it felt different, not a bad different, but a more comfortable more homey feel. I can't explain it...

As I silently make my way to the bathroom I see the door Is already closed and underneath a small ray of light crawls out.

It must be Thali. I think to myself, what is she doing up at this hour?

Before I can change my mind, I knock softly so not to wake the people sleeping. No answer. Maybe she's on her period? "Thali. Are you in here? Open the door please."

Still no answer. Okay well, she can hate me for this afterwards I don't care right now.
I quickly grab hold of the chilly door knob, turning it. I slowly open the door, just to be rewarded with angry yet sad and puffy red eyes to stare me down.

"What do you think your doing? Just barging into a bathroom with a girl occupying it? What the hell Shawn!" She exclaims pissed. After all the anger thrown towards me, I can see she is pretty sad. "What made you cry Thalia? Who was it? Do I know him, if I don't I'll beat the living shit out of him, I swear!"

After my sudden outburst, her eyes widens and disbelief crosses her features, but she quickly covers it up with a small soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. What was that all about?

"I'm fine. Sorry for going all crazy on you. Just having a tough time, you now."

"Yeah, I understand. Come, let's go to bed. I'm tired as fuck." We'll talk about this tomorrow.
She just chuckles and walks out the door.

As I lay down, she rests her head on the inside of my shoulder. As I'm just falling asleep, she nudges me with her hand softly.

"Hey Shawn, what are we going to do tomorrow?"
I open my eyes and look down at her. I can't help but smile at how small and innocent she looks.

"I wanted to go to our big tree at our Clearing. Wanted to catch up you know, hear what's new."

"Okay, sounds good to me" I laugh as she tries to hide the monstrous yawn escaping her soft lips. Shawn!

"Hey, did Benny tell you what's wrong? I swear you can actually cut the bad vibes between him and Clare with a knife. And on the way here she looked like she was going to faint."

"Yes I saw. No he didn't say anything about it. I'll just ask him sometime. Or leave it until he talks to me. They were fine when you just arrived though."

"Okay, I'll ask sis tomorrow, that is if I don't forget."
Her small body shakes with soft laughter. Heavens how I love it when she laughs.

"Good night Thali. Don't let the bed bugs bite." I smile as she laughs softly. We always used to say that. Since we had our first sleepover and her dad said that to us.

"Night Shawny." Her eyes holding the promise that she would tell me tomorrow why she was crying in the middle of the night.

It has always been like this. So comfortable, so real between us. Ever since she told me I was her 'bestest' friend in primary school. The only time we argue is when she is crying and didn't want to tell me what was going on. I usually pushed for answers when it started to happen but as we grew older I learnt to give her space. I just trusted that she would tell me when she was ready.

The most terrifying thing about this was how good she can act as if everything is good and perfect. And the fact that I have this nagging feeling bugging me that she is sometimes hiding something from me. And that some of that tears that is spilling is because of something I did. And I fucking hate that feeling.

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Thalia POV

I couldn't help it. It wasn't my fault. I just couldn't sleep after he caressed my face and whisperd, "You are all my stars." I mean, I have dreamt about this moment my whole life. But he mumbled something about "beautiful" and "sweet" and I am not one of those things, so he was obviously dreaming about someone else.

Even after his breathing became even and soft snores escaped his slightly parted lips I stayed up wondering who this mystery girl was.

I am not going to deny the fact that I am envious of the girl occupying his dreams but if she makes him happy and can help with his nightmares I'm not going to hate it. Not if it makes him happy.

I took this chance to admire this man before me. From his eyebrows girls are jealous of, to his beautiful shaped nose to his sharp and high jawbone and incredibly sharp jawline. His cute little cupid's bow. And the dip in his chin that is just the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

His face is not perfect but for me he was SPECTACULAR...

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And omf! Did you hear shawns new song Youth? It is PERFECT
GOSH!! HE IS PERFECT