Never Just Right

Chapter 6

Hey hey!
Look who's back!!
Hope you like this chapter❤
Just a heads up, this chapter is the new chap 6, I realized that there was a big time gap and want more chapters where they are on the farm, so enjoy!!

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Thalia's pov

"Shawn! Why would you never listen to me? I told you, you carve my name and I'll carve yours! I mean for heaven's sake it's not that hard to understand!"

"Oh shut up Thai! I'm trying to concentrate here! Do you know how hard it is for the fucking knife to actually not break?"

As the sun shines through a small gap in the leaves covering our heads, it catch his dark rich brown hair and tan skin, making it look like he has a halo around him. Like a angel. Maybe I should draw that?

"Stop crying and finish the letter you're at now! Then I'll go on and finish YOUR name." I say with irritation laced between my words.

While I start to write again I swear I heard a little huff from him. Agh he's such a big baby!

We are currently sat under our secret but not so secret clearing that everybody knows is our spot when we're at the farm. It's a big clearing with a very round, smallish flat rock in the middle where we would sometimes have a picnic. There are trees surrounding us like soldiers protecting a fallen leader in the middle of battle. In summer the grass is standing high and as green as the rolling heels of England and the bark of the trees a beautiful mud brown. The leaves the same colour as the grass shielding us from the sun. While I'm trying my best to write down my thoughts, Shawn is kneeling under the biggest tree in our protective circle carving out my name with a hunting knife he found somewhere.

I have absolutely no idea why we are doing this, but he came up with an idea that someday in five hundred years, someone is going to stumble upon this clearing and see our names on the tree. And what Shawn baby wants, he gets . . . unfortunately. And the very tall baby forgot that I was supposed to carve his name and not he himself. Ugh, only got one word for him, HOPELESS!

"So Shawn, how's it going with your love life there?" I ask without sounding too curious but also not too detached. That's a fucking hard thing to do!

"I beg your Pardon?"

Serious!

"I asked how your love life is going dumbass!"

"Wow sorry! Don't be so ... temperamental! But to answer your question, it's been silent lately. Like I date occasionally, but it just never last long or even feel right you know! But what the hell, still young and dumb right? Still being able to make mistakes and only have minor consequences."

The birds and insects stopped their singing while we laugh for a while. "Yes sounds about right to me!'' I said in-between fits of laughter.

"Come here I'm done."

"Finally, my turn. I've waited long enough!" I exclaim with not so fake excitement. As I try to stand up, my heel caught on a little grass and there I went. Falling to my death.

Before I could fully let out a cry, I felt hands grip me under my arms and pull me upright. But unfortunately for us, gravity was not done with us. One second we were up the next both of us unfortunate creatures topple down to the soft grass. Before I could hit the earth, Shawn flips us so that his back hits the ground and I'm lying on top of him. Both of our breathing harsh and ragged sounding.

"For the love of human beings Thai! How the fuck do you ALWAYS manage to fall? It's not even possible to fall so much!"

"I'm so sorry! I know, but believe me I make impossible stuff possible! Not my fucking fault." I took a deep breath and look down at Shawn. I feel the heat rush up my neck to my ears and cheeks as I realize what position were in. "oh. Umm. Yes. Thank you for not letting me hit the grass. Are you okay?"

I see his Adams apple hob as he looks up to me. "Yeah, no problem. I just think I hit my head against a rock or something hard." He swallows again "are you okay though? How's your ankle?"

"Shawn?" I ask with a soft voice. Scared of my own actions. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah?" It looks like his battling his own inner battle in his head. He lifts his hand up to my face as if to lift me up, but only brushing his hand up to my cheek and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. When our skin touches a shiver of sadness and belonging crawls down my spine. It feels like I'm home.

And then, with a delicacy I've never felt before, he is stroking my heated cheek. There's not enough oxygen in my lungs. My eyes are wide open. And I'm still lacking oxygen. It feels like my brain is starting to melt. His breathing is also ragged as he whispers "shit my head hurts. I think you should really discard your rule. To much falling"

And just like that the bubble we were in pops. The sound was almost as hard as the erratic beating of my heart. "I have to go." I breathe out as I push myself up from the ground. "Just please you know, umm finish my name on the tree. I'll umm you know, be at the house."

I have never walked this fast and cautious in my life. What the hell Thai? How do you always fall? And why in heavens name is he always catching me? Do I always have to screw things up? Fuck. I'm over this. This whole vacation is just bullshit. And how does he always look this handsome? It's humanly impossible!

But why does it always feel like there's so much more between us than just friendly cuddles and heartfelt conversations? Or just a friendship that feels like a language only we know?

I've read so many stories about true love and all of that nonsense, but it is nothing compared to anything I've ever felt before. I've had doubts about my feelings for Shawn. What if I only like him because it's the most cliché story in the book? And he is or was the boy next door or one of my best friends?. Or it is just simply an excuse because I'm too scared of real long term commitment.

But then again... If what I said is true about being scared of commitment, then why am I not scared of saying that I'm in love with him? And that I will, if given the chance, spend the rest of my life with him? Without hesitation or doubt?

Shawn's pov

As I walk to the little creek deeper into the forest I can't help but closing my mind off. I don't want to think about what went down just now between me and Thai. Or how I miss my brother or how I just wish every time I look at my hands it's covered in dried blood.

This past few days on the farm has been by far the best night's sleep I've had in a year. I do not know why but when I'm with Thai, I don't have nightmares so bad I wake up screaming and covered in sweat. It's like she's my own dreamcatcher and I will be forever grateful for it.

I never realized how beautiful these woods are in the summer. There's not really anything except bright green grass everywhere on the ground and leaves covering your head. The trees bark was that mud brown that is so on point to the colour of pictures of fairy tales that you always see in children books. The chirping of the large amount of different birds at the tops of the trees branches cleanse your mind of all the negative thoughts and the light breeze that filters the trees leaves is acid to all the bad air in your lungs.

I just wish something can take all these toxic thoughts of a certain short brunette with big stormy eyes and an incredible beautiful smile off my mind...