How to Write Stories People Will Love

Question 56: Mixing in other languages and culture

smarterer asks: I'm planning on writing a story and want to mix in a bit of my own language and culture. How much is too much?

AND

Prima_Voltera asks: When writing a story that utilizes different languages (or just one language), how would you format it? If I want to differentiate between said language and English and put their dialogue in said language, do I put the translation after or leave it out?

First, consider who your primary audience is. If it will primarily be people from your own culture, then you can liberally drop in words and sentences from your language, as well as frequent culture references, without translation or explanation. However, if you expect a mix of readers from outside your country, then the mix of languages will need to be more careful.

Since the majority of story-reading and writing here on Wattpad is in the English language, let's assume your audience is unfamiliar with your language and culture. (Bear in mind that if I say "foreign language", I know it's not foreign to you. I just mean something other than English.)

Italicize It

Standard practice when mixing a foreign language into a story is to italicize it. Whether you're inserting it into a description or dialogue, italicizing tells the reader that this word or phrase is special, and not an error. If the word originated in another language but is now a common part of English, then there's no need to italicize it. Some examples: croissant, burrito, cannoli, masala...

Hmm. All those examples are food-related. I might be hungry. XD

Explain It

Always assume your reader is unfamiliar with the language or custom. You can put entire sentences in the foreign language, but include either a translation or clues about what it means. I personally like the clues strategy, because it feels more seamless. Here's an example with my suggestions in place:

Papa sets down his taco and gives me the eye. "Porqué no estás en la escuela?"

I gulp. How am I supposed to tell my dad that I'm not in school because I got suspended?

"You ditching again?" he says with his heavy accent. "Because I get la paleta."

I roll my eyes. "Dad, I'm not six anymore. You don't have to spank me with with a wooden spoon."

"I spank if you twenty-six! You go to la escuela! Then get good job!" He pushes his plate away. "No end up like me. Estupido."

"Pa, you're not stupid. Te amo. I love you."

He regards me with suspicion, probably wondering if I'm trying to deflect the real issue here. I am, but he seems to allow it, and holds his arms up. I step in for a hug.

"Ay, mija," he mumbles.

"I'm your favorite daughter, though, right?" I say with a grin.

He swats my butt and pushes me away. "Do homework!"

How Much Is Too Much?

This is difficult to answer. We want enough to make it feel authentic, but not so much that it overwhelms the reader and disconnects them from the story. I would perhaps limit this mixing of languages to interactions between one or two specific characters. For example, an older person is less likely to have learned English fluently, so it makes sense for them to converse in mixed languages.

medievalmaide715 made this great suggestion that I completely forgot to include: Instead of including entire sentences in another language, it could be written in English, and then tell the reader what language it's actually in. For example, instead of"Porqué no estás en la escuela?" it could say, "Why aren't you in school?" he asks me in Spanish.

For a good example of a traditionally published book that walks this fine line between too much and just right, look up When Dimple Met Rishi, by Sandhya Menon. It's a cute contemporary young adult romance set in the U.S., but with heavy doses of Indian culture mixed in. There were times when I wasn't sure what it was talking about (usually unexplained articles of clothing in another language) but overall I was able to follow everything that was going on.

Anyone else have good examples of bilingual books?