How to Write Stories People Will Love

Question 60: Writing from an unfamiliar POV

ashesofinfinity asks: When you're writing POVs, I think the writing should change as well. Like if I'm working in the girl's POV, it's easier. But for a guy's POV, I don't know how they think! What should I do??

It's tricky writing from the point of view of a character you are unfamiliar with. So what we need to do is attempt to become more familiar. Here are some things that might help...

We Are All Human

Whether you're writing from a boy's or girl's perspective, we all have some basic similarities as far as emotions go. We feel insecurity, affection, confidence, anger, sadness, and peer pressure. We get caught up in another person romantically. We want to get back at someone who has wronged us. We want to help people in need. These qualities, while maybe not shared across all people, are common things we feel regardless of gender.

Male Tendencies

Since I'm not a guy, this section is merely relaying what I've observed, and what I've put into my own writing. These observations never apply to all boys. If you're a guy and want to add any information that might be helpful, feel free to comment and share your views.

From what I understand, there's this invisible expectation of boys to be young men. To be tough. They feel like they have to conform to a certain standard, even if they don't feel that way inside. Sensitive boys are secretly looked at funny. Or in sad cases, not-so-secretly. There's a competitiveness that is either built into them, or pressed upon them. Run faster, throw farther, be the best. Don't let a girl be better than you. The more "macho" the household, the worse this expectation is. In non-macho households, the expectations could come from friends or society in general.

In my story, Sember, the main character's older brother goes with her on a journey. They experience some hardships, during which Sember repeatedly saves them both. Although they grew up in a household without such overt expectations of men, his confidence takes a hit because his little sister kept saving the day instead of him. Big brothers should take care of their little sisters, right? He feels useless.

Additionally, boys tend to express themselves in physical ways. They punch each other hello in the arm, or high-five a lot, or push each other around while joking. Again, I know plenty of guys who do none of these things, so don't make every guy in your story act this way.

Female Tendencies

If you're a guy trying to write from a girl's perspective, you may experience the similar challenge of an unfamiliar point of view. Girls, if you have anything you'd like to add to this section, chime in! The more viewpoints we have, the better.

Just like how boys are expected to be tough, girls are expected to be weak or "domestic". They should want to learn to cook and think about future children. In today's society these are old fashioned concepts, but still very much alive even if on a subtle level. In some cultures it's not subtle at all. My mother is Asian, and among her Asian friends, they have a special word for girls who act like boys. If a girl screams too loud when they play or rough-house too much, I hear this word used to describe her. It's not a positive word.

In modern societies, girls are free to chase careers and non-domestic dreams, but are still looked at sideways when they act like boys. Too many people expect them to remain demure, polite, and caring. Anything less, and they get called a bitch.

Sex is a strange issue for girls. Many movies have touched upon this. I think Breakfast Club summarized it perfectly here: "Well, if you say you haven't [had sex], you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap."

We Just Want To Fit In

I'm not saying your story should deal with gender issues, but recognize that there are these invisible pressures both inside and outside a person. Both boys and girls, men and women, want to succeed while at the same time fitting in. How a character deals with these expectations defines a large part of their personality. Think about what kind of expectations this person deals with, and then think about how they respond to them. Are they conforming, defiant, or secretive?

Like I said in the beginning, we are all people first. The important thing to nail is the intrinsic human stuff. All the boy/girls stuff is just extra.

Be sure to check out the comments to see what information and discussions other people have contributed about the their POV.