It was quiet for a while but it felt like forever. Eira's wounds were almost cleaned up.
Bjorn heard her and he understood her completely. He couldn't imagine the horrors she's been through. He heard about it, felt sorry for Eira at some point but he could never truly imagine it.
The first time he heard about Eira's existence was when his brothers were talking about some girl who attacked Ivar.
Then it became a new exciting story for people to gossip about. Eira has become a fresh air of entertainment in their boring lives.
Oh, Bjorn heard all the versions about her life. Some of them were blown out of proportions. He never believed those.
Out of nowhere, he began to talk.
"I had a nightmare. That's why I couldn't sleep and therefore that's why I was up so late," not just Eira but both of them were quite surprised by Bjorn's honesty.
"I have those too," something changed in Eira's eyes when she said it out loud.
Bjorn didn't want to push Eira, he just raised his eyebrows watching her.
"The worst thing is, it always begins nicely - I'm happy, everything is okay and then,-" she couldn't say it out loud.
"I understand," Bjorn said honestly. It was something Eira didn't hear in a long time and she felt like he really did mean it.
"I wanted it to be quiet, even for a few seconds." Eira kept going. Perhaps it was the atmosphere that made her talk because she felt like whatever she says will stay in that hut and only there.
This time Bjorn didn't say anything, he just kept listening to what she has to say. While listening, he was gently touching her hands, getting rid of the last tiny stones in her skin.
Eira continued, her eyes focused on one spot in the room.
"The voices won't leave me alone," pause, "my mother's and father's scream when they were slaughtered. Over and over again," Eira's breathing was faster.
"I hear him calling me sweetheart and sometimes I can feel his hands choking me. As if he was still with me and I can't bear it anymore. I had to try and turn it off. Even for a few seconds," Eira was saying whatever she wanted, not trying to filter anything.
"When I was down there it was calm and quiet. No screaming, no voices in my head. Just me, the old me. The simple girl who enjoyed the little things in life," her voice went down at the end of the sentence.
Minutes of talking changed into hours. Without realizing it Eira spent the whole night talking about everything she had in mind. Bjorn was listening. Sometimes he would nod, sometimes he opened up to her too.
And then it happened. For the first time, Eira started talking about her miscarriage. Her eyes began to water.
"It's been inside of me the whole time," she couldn't say baby because it didn't feel right.
Bjorn looked upset because it brought back the memories. The day he found out about Siggy. He wasn't a good father to her and it was clear like a day because this was the first time he thought of her since then. He almost forgot and that feeling of realization stabbed him in the heart.
Bjorn turned around, not showing his tearing eyes to Eira.
"I had a daughter," Bjorn said trying to keep his voice straight. "I was a bad father. I couldn't look at her because she reminded me of her mother. I was too self-centred to realize she needed a parent to look out for her and I wasn't there," he was almost whispering.
"If I would give a birth to it I wouldn't be better. It would remind me of the hell I've been dragged through." For a while there was a silence, then she added: "Maybe it's the way gods are testing us both." Bjorn just nodded his head.
The sun was rising, waking up the animals outside.
"I should go," Eira got up, heading towards the door. Her clothes were fully dry now. Right before opening the door she turned around wanting to say something but Bjorn was faster.
"Don't worry, it will stay safe with me." Eira smiled at him, opening the door just slightly so she could look out.
It was too early, no one was out yet. She lifted up her gown a little, so it wouldn't get under her feet causing her to fall again. Bjorn was standing at the door watching her leaving.
"Thank you," was all she said and right after she swiftly disappeared behind the corner.
Neither one of them knew they weren't alone. Someone saw them.
YOU ARE READING
Merciful || Ivar the Boneless
Fanfiction"Bad move," he murmured between his teeth. Ivar was ready to kill her. He was slowly reaching out for his knife which was behind his belt. The girl made an unexpected move. She stretched out her hand and threw away the axe as far as she could. She p...
