"Girl, you make my heart break more every day." Fade by Lewis Capaldi
(I was listening to this jam while writing this one)
***
That night was one of the longest in Ivar's life.
He never cared for someone so much as he did for Eira.
Every time she yelled from sleeping or even slightly growled he was there, sweating enough for both of them, holding her hand.
Not once he left her side.
There wasn't a need he needed to full-fill more than to be with Eira.
He was her guardian angel watching over her, her every breath and move.
The sun was rising slowly and its first beams of light landed on Eira's face.
Gods, she was beautiful.
Ivar couldn't get enough of looking at her when the light was touching her skin, making her look even more angelic.
His eyes didn't leave a single detail on her face. He was admiring her as if she was a beautiful art. A painting so surreal he thought he was dreaming.
"I lo,-" he wanted to say something but he was cut off with her voice.
"Ivar?" she whispered, slowly waking up.
She slowly opened her eyes, carefully because the light was too bright for her.
"It's me, I'm here."
"Gods, you're alive! I didn't kill you but wha-... Where am I? What happened?" She wanted to move but the pain stopped her from doing it. Her hand travelled down to her stomach.
Ivar didn't know how to tell her. He didn't want to hurt her but he knew she needed to know.
"Once I was able to travel I had to go find you. We did eventually. You were lying in the middle of nowhere, hurt." Ivar swallowed when he thought of it.
"Eira...," he looked in her eyes, the most sincere expression on his face she saw so far.
She was confused, waiting for his words.
"You were with a child and you lost it."
Nothing. Her face was like frozen in time, not a single muscle in her face moved.
Although, her eyes began to water.
She looked away, tears running down her cheeks. She hated when someone saw her vulnerable.
"I," Ivar was trying to say something, but he was speechless. Is there anything he could say to make it better? No.
Suddenly Eira sat up, not showing any sign of pain she was in. It hurt bad like as if someone stabbed her and pulled out her guts. But this pain was nothing compared to her emotional pain.
The thought of her carrying a child that was created from a rape by those disgusting men made her want to die.
She felt dirty and confused.
Yes, it was just a baby. Innocent just like she used to be. But it was made out of rape, violence and abuse.
For a second she thought about having that child. Every time she would look at it, it would remind her of the worst time of her life.
She felt bad because she was okay with losing it. Eira had no idea what would she do if she carried the child to the end. Would she be able to kill it or leave it somewhere?
What kind of person would she be then?
Ivar watched her the whole time. He didn't know what to do. Did she want to be alone? Ivar knew he couldn't let her be alone because she might have done something she would regret later. Or something she couldn't take back.
"Eira," he began but was shut by her look.
"Don't," was all she said.
"I'm sorry," he told her sincerely. His eyes travelled to the other side of the room because he was being vulnerable and honest.
Eira heard his voice echoing but his words didn't go past that. She was still in shock, confused by her emotions. She was just sitting there, tears still coming even though she tried to stop it.
Ivar lightly moved towards her. She was caught up in thinking, not noticing him.
He sat right next to her. So close, their thighs were touching. Ivar wished he could feel that electricity travelling through his body but he couldn't.
Eira couldn't hold her emotions back anymore. She rested her head against Ivar's shoulder, letting tears freely fall down. Ivar was sitting still, surprised by her action. He didn't want to move, afraid she might pull back.
His heart was beating fast, chills covered his neck. He was forgetting to breathe properly.
Once he inhaled some air, he slowly touched Eira's hand. She didn't flinch. Again, she surprised him by holding his hand. Ivar's heart beating was so fast it could jump out of his chest.
Eira sobbed and Ivar didn't know how to comfort her more. So this time he was the one to rest his head against hers. With minutes going by their breathing were in sync. They were perfectly matching each other. Ivar's thumb was drawing little circles on Eira's skin.
Eira felt safe after a long time. Broken, confused but the heat from Ivar's body made her feel like home. Was this enough?
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Merciful || Ivar the Boneless
Fanfiction"Bad move," he murmured between his teeth. Ivar was ready to kill her. He was slowly reaching out for his knife which was behind his belt. The girl made an unexpected move. She stretched out her hand and threw away the axe as far as she could. She p...
