- Third book - Cannot be read as a stand-alone! Read The Secrets Of Finnley first!
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."
Two years after Finnley first dissappeared, Cristian finds himself back at square one. With no idea whe...
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- Saturday, March 17th, –
I wake up confused because Oliver is next to me, crying while trying to keep the sounds to a minimum. He's seated with his back against the wall, his head covered by his arms.
I groan as I move, trying to push myself up, feeling in the least a bit sore. I knew this would happen. And I knew I would feel guilty, shitty. I feel like crying along with him. But I wonder if Oliver is crying for the same reason I want to cry.
I cheated on Finnley and I allowed it to happen without even doubting for a single second.
But all the while feeling guilty, I also feel good because I did want this, and I did enjoy it. And it's all the more confusing because my heart is breaking to watch Oliver cry like this, again.
"Oli..." I mutter, crawling in his direction to pull him in my arms protectively. "I'm here... Please don't cry."
"I screwed up, Cris," he whispers in a croaked voice, broken by the crying. "Mom's right, I'm a screw-up..."
"You're not a screw-up, Oli," I grumble annoyed.
"I drank. I can't even stay sober for five years..."
"You think it's not an achievement to stay sober for over 2? I can't even stay sober for a week!"
"You don't get it Cris!" He cries out, pulling his head up to look at me in agony. "I'm an addict! I'm already craving a drink right now and I'm not even completely sober!"
"But you're not drinking." I point out, cupping his face, completely forgetting about my own misery for a second. "You could've went to the kitchen, grab a bottle of whatever is in there, and drank because you feel like a screw-up. But you didn't. You're here, you're obviously aware that you made a mistake and you know what? It only makes you human. You made one mistake. That doesn't mean you should give up."
"I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to stay sober for long... I... the memories... I want them gone..." He sobs, tugging at his hair in frustration. "I want to get rid of them..."
"Oli, listen to me. You fought for over two years. You are strong, I admire your strength – for what it's worth to you – and you can do this. We had one fun night. We escaped our misery for one night. And from now on we'll go back to fighting our demons in sobriety."
"Says he who has no trouble to not drink for a couple of days." Oliver grips my wrists. "You don't know what it's like... Cris."
"In all honesty, I haven't been completely sober in days either. I just hid the fact I've been drinking every day. Besides, I do know what it's like to lose the love of my life and I think I'd rather have someone tell me if this is permanent, or temporarily. The uncertainty about Finn's faith is killing me."
"This is not about Maxie, Cris," Oliver whispers, followed by a deep sigh. "Well, it's always about Maxie, but that's not the reason I drank."
"You ran into your former bullies." I nod, telling him I still remember that he told me. "And they're worthless pieces of shit you shouldn't pay any attention too."
