i shouldn't care.
it's stupid that i'm still angry,
not at you but at myself.
at the universe,
for doing this to me,
and taking you away.
the worst part is that i was right about everything, from start to finish.
and you got angry every time, and made me doubt myself and my self worth, even when i told you the truth.
even though you knew i was right.
and to this day you say you'll change, you'll say you'll stop lying, you'll say you'll keep trying and you don't.
not that i ever had hope that you would in the first place,
but i guess trying to hope,
trying to smile through it,
is better than not trying at all.
is it bad that i know what's bound to happen will fix me even if it will hurt you,
and everybody that cares?
is it bad to want to forget about all of it?
is it bad that i'm counting down the days until i can breathe again?
people still don't understand why i can't get over what happened, and why i never will.
they don't understand that i'll never will be able to look at you the same way again,
and that's probably what pains me the most.
the day i learned the truth,
was the same day i lost a best friend.
maybe things would've been easier,
if i wasn't so blind.
and sometimes i wish that i never had met you.
right now is one of those times.
