Unpredictable Love

Chapter 9 - The Lying Game

“This is the time I want to go back. Our first kiss. I know it will be worth revisiting.”

After that kiss, I don’t know what’s came to my mind. It was like feeling the coldness of the winter, obliging you to find something or someone to cuddle. It’s a must, or else you’ll die of frost. I guess the summer’s heat finally wearing off.

“I’m in love with you Candice. I was telling you all this time. And I will always be reminding you of that truth. I can wait until you say yes to me. Even if it took you a lot of time.”

The movie credits have already ended. I got this feeling of gladness of kissing him, at the same time guilt. The kiss was really good. Hindi ko halos namalayan ang oras na lumipas. Ganon na ang epekto sa’kin ni Lance. Niyakap niya lang ako habang nakasandal ang isa niyang balikat sa couch.

“It’s inconvenient for me to make that statement, you know?”

“Which statement?”

“The part of waiting…”

I made a gasp. Of course, I know that waiting really sucks. Some would say it’s the best way of killing time, when in fact killing is synonymous to wasting. Unproductive, bibigyan ka lang ng sakit ng ulo – darating o hindi? That will always be the question in your head.

“… because I know it may take forever to wait. Sad but true and hurtful.”

There was a long pause before he started talking again. I was really speechless on his words. It’s quite a few words but it really got me, bull’s eye.

“But you still hold on your hopes, even the probability is very low. Do you know why Augustus Waters died in John Green’s book (The Fault In Our Stars)?”

“Because he is sick? Of course the characters of that book were sick, by the name of Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters.”

“Not the disease in particular, but because he’s such a dope in probability. He had this high hopes. He’s always on the positive thoughts. He loved the girl so much; he is much willing to do everything for her.”

“I can’t still figure out what killed him if you cannot reason his disease?”

“I told you, he had high hopes. And when it started to blossom to a positive result of making Hazel happy, his time runs out. But nonetheless, he was loved back. And we all knew he was happy on his final days.”

I don’t know the reason why he was telling me that but it made me even more confused. I hate the concept of probabilities and whatever associated with it, it just gave you a number of the chances. Moreover, I hate the word ‘chance’. Actually I have a lot of words to hate now.

I was still in his embrace. Halos ayoko nang bumitaw mula sa pagkakayakap niya sa’kin. Gusto kong nasa tabi ko lang siya hanggang sa mawala ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. But letting yourself lose on the idea of depending on someone cannot really erase the remnants of pain. Eventually, I will need to let go.

“He was loved back. I guess that’s a justifiable ending. They’re star-crossed lovers.”

We remained in that position for a few more minutes.

“I need to go Lance. It’s past 10 pm, definitely not my usual time of going home.”

“Ihahatid na kita. Kukunin ko lang yung car keys ko. Wait for me here.”

As he commanded, I waited for him. I was still hypnotized with the painting on his living room.

“Like Hazel Grace and Augustus, they go separate ways. Damn this ‘the fault in their stars.’”