[COMPLETED] Shadow | Kim Jisoo X Male Reader--Blackpink fanfic

CHAPTER 7: PUSHED AWAY

Y/N's POV
She..
She slapped me on my right cheek make my face slightly turn to that direction.
I touch the hit cheek.
I looked at her.
She still crying.
I was about to get closer with her and hug but she move backward.
Its hurt to see she crying.
I made her hurt?
"Jisoo.."
"Dont touch me." She wipe her tears. "This...this is wrong Kim Y/N.."
I looked down at my feet.
I wish i could feel this hurt.
Am i not deserved to be loved and love?
"Why?" The only thing i can asked.
"Jinyoung still fighting.. struggling to stay alive at his bed. Meanwhile i am kissing with another guy. His bestfriend."
I looked at her. "Im sorry." I dont know what else i have to say.
"Im sorry oppa. I cant return the same feelings to you. I love Jinyoung. I still love him. I believe he will wake up soon."
Her words make me really pain inside...

I sent her back home..
We didnt say anything along the journey.
I didnt dare to say anything.
Cause i know will get hurt hearing her words again.
"At least.. please accept this." I lend her the red roses and chocolate to her.
She looked at me.
"Well..i didnt expect anything from you to return the same feelings towards me. And im sorry for loving you. Please take this." I take her hand and put the gifts to her hand.
"Goodbye Jisoo....for now." I mumbled the last word.
She just stare at me.
I jog to my car and get inside it.
I start the engine and drive away.

I park my car at the parking lot of hospital.
I walk faster and get into Jinyoung's room.
Yet he still in coma state.
Im still with my uniform.
I cant hold my tears anymore.
I just let it out.
"Jinyoung... you are such an idiot. You didnt listen to me. You cheated on her. You didnt tell her you love someone else. You hurt her. You blocked her heart from letting other person to fill her heart..including me." I wipe my tears.
"Jinyoung.. i cant stand anymore. Am i not deserve to love her? Im such a jerk not confess to her before you. Im sorry Jinyoung... i have to relax myself... i have to go somewhere. Its not like i have give up on her... but i want to give her some space. Im sorry."

Then i quickly leave the scene and drive back home.
Yeah i need to go somewhere.
I need break.

The next day..
I left my penthouse.
I bring the necessary things and start to drive.
I dont know where i wanna go..
Maybe..
To a place that is neither close nor far ..
I hope Jisoo will be okay while im gone for a while..
Its hurt she pushed me away..
But i dont wanna force her.
Love cant be force.
I believe to fate.
Is we meant to be.. we will be together..

Day by day has passed..
I just waiting for Jisoo to call me or at least a single text. But none from her.

Now i was on the top of Bukhansan ..
Im waiting for the sunrise.
I took a deep breath.
Feeling the fresh air from the top of mountain.
I stare at the beautiful scenery from here..

a picture that gets smeared in white..
And my fragrance that seems to have faded away..
All get concealed by the glaring cloud...
My heart that has no words..
It Slowly starts to move my feelings..
Those times that slipped through..
Are in my hands..

I'm holding back the tears..
I keep on walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart..
To a place that is neither close nor far..
Where a different me stands i will not cry..
But the tears keep falling..
As i remembered the moment that Jisoo pushed me away..
I bring my two hands together again..
To a place that will hear it..
As I live though these unmemorable times..
Though it seems stupid, we're always together.. i chuckled to myself..
The pain that I want to let go..
I hope it would Dries the tears that flows through my cheeks..
I'm living with my tears..
I walk again trying to lessen the weight of my heart..
To a place that is neither close nor far..
Where a different me stands..
I'm holding back the tears..
I kept on run adding to the weight of my faith..
To a place that is neither high nor low..
Where a different me stands again..
With a small smile I can laugh of loud..
I will not cry anymore..
Yeah i will not cry anymore.
You must keep strong Y/N...
You can do it !

Dear Jisoo...
Am i shadow to you?
Do you only see me as shadow instead of the man?
I will not giving up on you.
I dont wanna push you or chase you.
But i promise i will shine your darkness back..

Note : thanks to all my lovely readers cause still read this book although its not good enough.

Btw guys... how do you feel when someone pushed you away?