Equals

Chapter 10

The Last Meeting

          It takes a lot of persuading, but I finally force Maddy to take me. She holds onto me tightly, walking slowly, as if she’s afraid that at any second I’ll collapse. We stop at a room marked,

          “Morgue 215”

          I tell her to wait outside, she doesn’t object. I take in a long breath, and walk in. I slowly walk towards the bed, running my fingers up his leg, to his hand, until I reach his face. He looks so peaceful…like he’s sleeping.

          I want to remember every part of him, right now. I pay attention the things I’ve never had to before. The smell of his clothes, the texture of his hair and skin, everything seems new to me. I put my hand in his and kiss him on the lips. It’s so different. Before they were soft, and warm, now they’re cold, and hard. I squeeze his hand, and feel something inside of it. I pull out a small piece of paper. It’s the note I left him the day of the invasion. You can barely read the writing. I give up on it and toss it in a metal trashcan. Once it lands I hear a small metallic clang. “What the hell?” I pull out the piece of paper. On the other side, taped to the back securely is a small pin. I pull it off to get a better look. On the pendant are two letters. “M,” and “A,” are sitting on the top of the pin, entangled together to form a beautiful pattern…clicking together perfectly, like the night at his home. Tears burn my eyes at the memory, I push it out of my mind I won’t have anything to do with him. He doesn’t exist. I put the pin on my shirt, kiss his lips once more, and write a new note on the back of the paper before putting it in his hand. I look over it one last time, “Thanks for the adventure…” and place it back in his hand before pulling the blanket over his face.

          I walk out to meet Maddy again. I nod at her and she stands up, but I’m already walking away.

          “How are you?”

          “Great, just great, can’t you tell?”

          "Look, Azurite I know how you’re feeling.” I turn around sharply to meet her face, she starts to back away.

          “Really, you do? You know what it’s like to lose your best friend in the world, someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, someone you feel like you’ve loved since the day you were born? I don’t think so. Now trust me, when I tell you this. No one, in the world knows how I’m feeling right now…”

          “Azurite, I’m sorry.”

          “Oh I’m sure you are…” I roll my eyes and start walking faster.

           “Where are you going anyway?”

          “I’m getting away from this damn hospital!”

          “Azurite, you’re not exactly stable right now...”

          “LIKE HELL I’M NOT! SO IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD TRY TO STAY OUT OF MY WAY!”

          “Azurite, you listen to me right now! Don’t do this! Don’t let go of him and just do whatever you want!”

          “WHY CAN’T I?! HE’S GONE OKAY?! DEAD, HE DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE! I. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT. HIM. ANYMORE.” Each word burns when I say them, but I have to let go.

          “Azurite, don’t forget about Michael—“I slam her into the wall.

          “DON’T EVER SAY HIS NAME AGAIN!” The sound of his name finally cracks me. I feel my knees give way and I fall to the ground, sobbing. Maddy wipes my face and calms me. I’ve been so horrible to her…she doesn’t deserve it.