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Chapter XIX

Song: Katy Perry- Rise

Chapter 19

A m a n d a

Don't Lie" He snaps.

"why are you asking me all of this all of a sudden?" I can't help but feel hurt- now he's going to be asking me when he should have asked that in the beginning when he met me. But hes right. He did try. 

"Because maybe your not whom you appear to be," His voice is rising yet so is mine.

I shake my head- running a hand through my hair- trying to clear my thoughts that are fogging up on me "what are you hiding because I believe we're all hiding many things." I fire back- ignoring the many stares locked on us.

He stays quiet.

"That's what I thought" with that, I walk out of the cafe, making my way to my car- digging through my bag to get my keys, only to bump into someone. "Sorry" I mutter as I gain composer -barely making out his blond hair and brown eyes.

"It's all right. Just be careful." Something about the tone and the way he said it causes me to halt in my steps-. I turn back to glance at the stranger only see him gone- most likely in the cafe.

Disregarding whatever sensation and thought I have I get into my car, ignoring Derek stares from the window- from the spot I left him, and drive out.

*****

I keep replaying what happened that Monday afternoon over and over in my head, slightly torturing myself with it.

Brenda also seemed to pick up on my emotions when I stepped foot into the house that day, bombarding me with questions of what had happened. Tired of keeping most shit to myself I tell her. She too seemed shocked.

To think everything was going great, besides what happened Saturday night, turned out to be the complete opposite.

On Tuesday he didn't show up, or so I thought until Mrs. Robinson called out the role and a "here" echoed from the back of the class. Not only was it me that noticed but as well as everyone else, even the teacher who seemed surprised at his decision to sit back there.

We made eye contact, and when we did. He immediately looked down, all while everyone was staring at us. Funny how it should be me ignoring him not the opposite.

Through that day I've been getting stares from every side; during transitions, when I would go to the restroom or when I walked by classrooms all eyes seemed to be on me. Too bad I have to deal with all this.

Everyone at lunch was still happy, but they too have been noticing the distance from Derek- mostly because he wasn't there including the following days. Alex even tried calling him but nothing, he won't answer. Something had to of triggered Derek. He was happy that Monday morning and all of a sudden his mood changed.

Zoe- it had to be her, maybe this was her plan all along, but why? There has to be something more to it. Speaking of Zoe, she seemed happy throughout this whole time, yet she would also disappear when Derek wasn't at the cafeteria. Where they together?

To make things worst ever since the fight with Derek I've had the feeling of being watched, causing me to constantly glance over my shoulder once in a while.

-----

"People still staring huh?" I nod as we pack our things, getting ready to leave. Its been a whole week and even though I should be somewhat happy that I'm getting space from any suspicions, and not pressing our buttons it doesn't feel right. I need to know the reasons for his outburst, what makes him think that I'm not whom I appear to be- not that he's wrong, but he doesn't know that yet or does he? 

"Look if it makes you feel any better when Zoe and Derek went out and broke up she also had all the stares you're getting now."

"I guess."

Eva shrugs "But what happened exactly? Friends or not. You two were so close and then boom." she uses her hands to display her booming effect.

 "Just had a small argument," I lie, putting a strand of hair behind my ear. The bell rings, and we walk out heading to the back entrance leading to the parking lot. 

"No wonder she's so happy" Eva mutters as we move through the crowd gathered at the back doors.

I look back at her and nod "yeah she did warn me to stay away after all."

Eva scoffs "It's not like she has a chance at getting back with him... well gotta go I'll see you tomorrow" I nod and watch her head to her car parked on the other side of the lot.

My eyes search the lot and to where he usually parks but just like the past days it's empty. 

----------------------

In the end, I decided not to go to school the next day and stayed home. Thinking of my past years in the asylum, about Jacob, Derek, and looking through the pictures I have. Something I've been doing a lot. Brenda had no problem with this, in fact, she encouraged me to do it along with her parents who seemed to notice that something wasn't right.

One of the photos was of a house where Jacob used to live before he moved out on his own.

Everyone thought it was weird for him to move out- given our young age, but he had his reasons. And good ones: his drunk father, the memory of a runaway mother, pain. 

Could his father still be there? I think. Could he know something?

I look back at the photo. I guess I have to find out. I send a quick text to Brenda, who still at school. Letting her know that I'm going out and not to worry. I don't wait for a response. I simply walk out and lock the front door then head to my car.

-

It feels like an eternity until I finally reach the small blue house.

It looks different yet the same- if that's even possible. Well-taken care off, something that back then would have not. The lawn freely cut, the once red rose bush beside the front entrance now blooming with bright red roses. Looking at it brought memories, some good some bad.

What am I doing? What's the point. He was never focused on Jacob to begin with but yet a part of me tells me it's worth a shot. He has to know something- anything. Its time to look for answers.

I head towards the front door, my hand slightly trembling, and knock, waiting for a response on the other side. Nothing.

Maybe he moved?

I slowly back away with the little hope I had vanishing with every step, and head to my car. Just as I'm stepping off the stairs I hear the front door open. 

I turn and there he is. Flesh and blood.

His father.