Open Your Eyes (Cashby)

Chapter 1

Title: Open Your Eyes
Title credit: lyrics from a song called The Poison, by The All American Rejects
Author: catisafaker
Disclaimer: I do not own Alan or Austin, sadly :( lord knows what sort of chaos that would be. Lovely, sexy chaos.

AUSTIN'S POV

My mind ran through a list of everything I needed to do: pack, eat, catch the bus. Staring intently at the boring beige wall, I knew it was time, but I found it difficult to make that first move. It was like my shoes were filled with lead; I dully thought that some motivation would be nice. Well, your life isn't going anywhere in this place, your girlfriend dumped you, and your family is too busy for you. How's that for motivation? Ouch. Springs creaked inside the mattress as I rose, moving at a fairly slow pace to gather the clothes from my drawers.
Packing wasn't much of a burden. I didn't have any posters, or really anything to personalize my apartment. Just clothes, books, and dishes. I didn't have a television for two reasons, the first being that I was on low income from working at a book store, and the second that I didn't quite care for anything on a screen. I honestly preferred books, and being out in nature. I guess that sounded pretentious, like oh I'm such a hippy, I never watch TV or buy packaged foods. Actually packaged food was all I could afford. Alas, my diet of Ramen Noodles and Doritos would soon halt to a stop once I started my new job. So, with newfound desire to taste an actual cooked meal, I tossed my pityingly small amount of possessions into a beat up brown messenger bag that once belonged to my father.
I'm not leaving behind much of a life here in Phoenix. Was that thought supposed to be comforting? I was a little harsh on myself, but I had good reason to be. My life was kind of like a project that was started a long time ago, then left to collect dust. It never really took off, never prospered. I'd never made my parents proud, never fell in love, never found my dream job, though I knew I was young, with plenty of time for those things. The one job I'd been offered was all the way in Santa Rosa, a town about 50 miles west of Sacramento. My new life, and job, waited for me there, in a mental hospital by the name of Blair Ridge Psychiatric Institute. My position would be an orderly. I was at the age of 20, had my degree in nursing (I know, I know, a male nurse. It's hilarious. My family thought so, too) and a genuine desire to help. I'd always been a gentler person, which earned me a lot off bullying throughout my high school career, but that was all behind me.
I was certified in first aid, CPR, and AED, which were the only requirements for the job (along with a drug test and back round check), so I was more than qualified for this job. In my hometown, I hadn't found a good job after getting out of college, but I did find a lovely little book store/coffee house called Common Grounds. In the back of my mind, I knew that it was just an escape for me. I mean, think about it: a cozy little place, filled to the brim with books to lose myself in, and to top it all off, it smelled like freshly brewed coffee. The sweetest of all smells. There was even a little employee loft with a nice bay window where I liked to read on breaks. It was more of a home to me that my own apartment, but I knew in the pit of my stomach that it was time to leave. The only people who would miss me would be my coworkers at Common Grounds, Sophie and Jeremy. Possibly Brock, but then again, he never spoke to me that much. The thing about small establishments was that they were like little communities. There were friend groups there. Sophie and Jeremy were my two friends in this place, and Brock was Sophie's boyfriend. Maybe he hadn't liked me because Sophie and I were close. I could never make a speculation though, because it didn't matter. He was just a quiet guy.
Sophie and Jeremy had thrown me a going away party, which consisted of a lot of Polaroids and getting trashed together. Hey, at least I still have the pictures. Picking them up and carefully slipping then into the pocket of my bag, I made a mental note to hang them up on a bulletin board in my new room at Blair Ridge. It was a live-in position, so I would have my own room in the orderly's wing of the hospital. My new home. I wasn't terribly excited, but I was a little bit nervous. I considered that a good thing, because it was different. It was new, and I was ready for something new. Pack, eat, catch the bus popped into my head again.
Letting the hot noodles slide down my throat for the last time, I cleared the trash and mess away, and said goodbye to my apartment. Closing that door for the last time made it all feel so final, like a first real step. I strolled out the the bus stop, the boredom of waiting taken out of it by pulling a book open in my lap. Joined by some strangers on the bench, we all waited for the Greyhound to appear. I guess these people would be traveling with me for the next couple of days. There was a black woman, texting on her phone. She had particularly beautiful hair, in small dreads and pulled back with a leather strip. There was another girl, sitting directing to my right, maybe 16, pale and nervous. She held tightly onto the hand of a chubby younger boy, at the age of 2 or 3. He whined every so often, and she would just whisper to him and hand over little peppermint candies. Many of them were older people, impatiently tapping their feet and watching for the bus' arrival. Just like me, they were all waiting for something to happen, something to come.
"Excuse me?" A voice squeaked. It was the nervous girl. She had very light blond hair, shaking feet, and slightly crooked teeth. She was endearing.
"Yes?" I answered. I did love people, it was true, I just hadn't quite found the right way with most of them in my life so far.
"When will the bus be here?" She asked, looking around with a paranoid kind of attitude. She seemed like a runaway or something. I checked my watch. 7:54 PM.
"In...about 6 minutes. Are you okay?" I asked. She bit her lip.
"We... have to get out of here." She said uncertainly. I chuckled warmly..
"Well, we'll be out of here in no time. Have you ever ridden before?"
She shook her head. "Is it bad?"
"No, as long as you have something to do." I answered. I'd ridden before, every summer actually. My brother and I used to go up to see my grandmother in Louisiana together, until she passed away when I was 15.
"Well, I'll be taking care of Chippy, so that should definitely be a handful." She smiled at the cute little boy, his huge brown eyes smiling back at her.
"Up!" He said. "Up, up, up!" She picked him up with an umpf, and held him in her lap.
"My name is Austin." I introduced, shaking her tiny hand. I playfully held my index finger out to Chippy, who grabbed it tightly. The kid had one hell of a grip, and I smiled internally. If I ever get married in the future, there's no way I'm not having kids.
"I'm Alice, and this is my brother, Chippy." She smiled at me. "Do you have family in Sacramento?" She inquired.
"Nope, I'm actually headed a little bit west after I get there. New job, new town, fresh start." I said, feeling happier once I put it like that. She smiled.
"Us too." Her words were soft, and carried an air of sadness. "Do you want a candy?" I obligingly took one from her palm, and Alice unwrapped one of her own. I held mine up, like a toast.
"To new beginnings." She smiled, and held hers up too.
"New beginnings." She agreed, and popped it in her mouth. On the dot, a Greyhound roared its way in front of us, and screeched to a stop. I picked up my larger bags, and handed them to the middle aged woman who was taking luggage and packing it into the storage area. Alice, towing Chippy along, followed me, but she had nothing more than a backpack. I motioned for her to follow me.
"This way." I said. She smiled gratefully for direction, and followed me onto the bus. There were seats on each side, in rows of two. We sat adjacent to each other, both in aisle seats, and Chippy next to her, looking out the window. I sat alone, just watching all the others squeeze their way into seats. The low rumble of conversation and the bus engine made a nice little hum, which I quite enjoyed. I was a big fan of back round noise; low music, ocean waves, quiet conversation, all things like that. Everything felt so stark and bare without it. Looking over at my new friend, she fussed over her younger brother, gently rubbing his cheeks with a Wet Wipe and fixing his jacket. It was a very maternal thing to do, and I got a real glimpse at her, who she was on the inside. Smiling at this, I pulled a book open again and indulged myself in it.
•••
For the next few days, I got to know my new traveling friends. Alice never said about where she and Chippy were going, but I did learn a that she was a gymnastic enthusiast, loved America's Next Top Model, Chinese food, and wherever she was going, she wasn't planning on coming back. I could tell by the way she spoke about her boyfriend, or, rather, ex boyfriend. She used phrases like "I'm going to miss him", and "I didn't even get to say goodbye", things that sounded final. Final in a different way than my apartment door closing shut. That door was positive for me, but she definitely sounded broken up over this. I also learned that Chippy loved Spongebob more than life, and he wouldn't eat anything with a speck of green on it. They were both such sweet kids, but Alice acted very mature for her age. I even felt a tad envious of her, silently wishing that I had a younger brother. Or a child. Or even a nephew that I could babysit. You could say that I definitely was apt for for taking care of people, and that's exactly what I was hoping to accomplish at Blair Ridge. There was something about people in need that I was drawn to; something inside me just wanted to help. Selling books and coffee wasn't enough, and I knew how selfish I was being spending my days where no one needed me. Over the course of a couple of days, my views became more positive about Santa Rosa. I promised myself silently, and Alice, that I would make a difference in someone's life.
The three day trip, which I had expected to be cumbersome and arduous but was pleasantly surprised, came to an end quickly. Getting out of the bus, I tried stretching my long legs, and shaking out my dark hair. Keeping it gelled like usual wasn't an option on the cramped Greyhound. I stiffly stalked over to get my bags that had been haphazardly thrown onto a pile with everyone else's. After gathering my things, Alice, Chippy, and I headed to a little coffee shop at the bus stop. I bought two coffees and one apple juice, and handed drinks to my new friends. Chippy was very quiet for a 3 year old. He had his moments, but most of the time, he was very polite and well-behaved.
"Frank you!" He spoke, grinning and making grabby hands for the juice box. I smiled, wishing desperately that one day I could have a child like him.
"You're very welcome." I said, and gave Alice hers. She smiled like I was a gift from heaven.
"Thank you so much. Here," She began reaching into her backpack, "I'm good for it."
"Nope. Keep your money. I have a feeling you'll be needing it." I said. She paused, then blushed and nodded. We all sat in a booth, sipping and relaxing. That bus seat had not been the most comfortable thing, and my legs still kinda felt stiff. I imagined myself as the tin man from The Wizard of Oz, putting some oil in my knee and ankle joints.
"So, where are you heading from here?" Alice asked.
"Santa Rosa. I'm taking a taxi... Do you have a ride to, uh, where ever it is that you're going?" I asked. She nodded.
"My ride is meeting us here in half an hour." She answered curtly, patting Chippy's hand.
"Do you mind if I wait here with you? I don't want to just leave you, and I can spare 30 minutes." I just wanted to know that she wasn't lying. She really did seem like the run away type.
"Sure, thanks Austin. That'd be nice." Okay, she passed the check. I waited there anyways, playing I Spy with Chippy. I was saddened at the thought of leaving them, but I knew we wouldn't be far away.
"Hand me your phone." I said to Alice. She eyed me suspiciously, but did it anyways. I programmed my number in, then sent myself a text so I had hers. "Text me if you two need anything, okay? A ride, some money, or you need help?" I offered. She smiled deeply.
"I promise I will." She held out her pinky and entwined it with mine. "Thanks. For everything."
"Not a problem." She stood suddenly, looking out the window. A dark green car pulled up, and it became obvious that this was her ride. I stood too, pulling her into a hug. She hugged back tightly, then released so I could hug Chippy. He attempted and failed to say my name a few times, causing us to chuckle. "Alright, you be safe. And text me." I demanded playfully. She kissed my cheek.
"I will, travel buddy. We'll see you soon." She promised, then picked up Chippy and walked out. I hope so. Seeing them safely in the car was good enough for me, so I left and hailed a taxi.
Sitting, yet again, in the back of a moving vehicle, I leaned my head back on the seat and thought about how my new life was just on the horizon. Making friends wasn't really my first priority, I just wanted to do something mattered. I wanted to learn more, and to try my hand with people. Having just gotten out of a relationship with a girl named Jessica who only wanted sex from me, I was not thinking at all about getting into a relationship. That was a whole other can of worms, and, through a painstaking process, I'd promised myself to not let it come open again.
I had a feeling that maybe it was unrealistic to expect everything to change, but hoped earnestly that I could do something to make a difference. With this new outlook, I headed straight for Santa Rosa with one hell of a determination.