Endless Game [Doyoung / Sejeong] (COMPLETED)

17: Daniel's Story (TRIGGER WARNING)

Daniel

" 'Diba sinabi ko na sayong bawal 'yang mga pusa mo dito!? Gusto mo ba ako mamatay sa allergies!? Tugnan mo ang kwarto mo! Nag aamoy pusa na! Itapon mo 'yan Daniel!" Malakas na sigaw ng step mother ko atsaka hinagis ang mga pinag kakainan ng mga pusa ko na naging dahilan ng pag kalat sa kwarto ko. Buti nalang nakatakbo ang mga pusa ko

Tumayo ako no'n at tinignan siya. Bakit siya ang napili ng tatay kong pakasalan? Bakit ganito ang mga babae? All they do is to hurt. Ano 'bang mali? Nagulat ako nang bigla siyang lumapit saakin at sinampal ako ng malakas

"Anong tini-tingin tingin mo ha!? Tinatakot mo ako Daniel!? Hindi mo ako matatakot sa tingin mo! Bilisan mo! Ligpitin mo ang lahat ng 'yan!" Agad siyang lumabas sa kwarto ko at ni-lock 'yon. Napa-luhod nalamang ako sa sakit ng nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang masakit saakin. Gusto ko nalang mag pahinga.

I hated girls. I always hated girls. I hate how they look, how they smell, how they act. I really hate them.

Nag simula ito noong 7 years old ako. I came from a really wealthy family. Everything seems perfect. Outside the house, we look like a happy family. A family that can never be broken. But inside? When my father is gone? Para akong binabalatan ng buhay sa sakit na nararanasan ko sa nanay ko. She would tend to push me anywhere. She'll pull my hair, slap me, punch me, she even threw a f-cking knife to me

Dahil sa bata pa ako, inisip ko na baka may nagawa akong mali so I tend to say sorry hanggang sa kumalma ang nanay ko and she would tell me na I should not tell anything to my father.

One day, I showed her my report card. Sobrang saya ko kasi I got good grades. But all she did was to tear everything apart and she even locked me inside the cabinet. 'Nung panahon na 'yon, gusto ko nalang matapos ang lahat. I wanted to understand her. I'll tend to say sorry kahit hindi ko kasalanan

I remember the day when I saw a cat at our garden, sobrang natuwa ako 'don at di ko sinasadyang mabasag ang isa sa mga paso na nandon. Sobrang galit na galit siya saakin at pinakain saakin ang mga lupa na nandon. Walang makapag-sabi ng totoo sa tatay ko dahil lahat ng kasama namin sa bahay ay takot na mawalan ng trabaho. But yet again, I tried to understand my mother. She's my mother after all.

Everytime my father asks about my wounds, I always lie. I lied how my mother gave these to me. Kasi nga, nanay ko siya at mahal ko siya

When I turned 11, that was my graduation in elementary. I was too excited. I prepared everything. Honorable mention ako e. Syempre masaya akong ga-graduate with honors. I was jumping and running excitedly papunta sa kwarto ng mga magulang ko. The door was locked. Kapag bata ka pa, sobrang curious mo sa bagay bagay, kaya alam ko kung nasaan ang spare key. I took it and unlocked the door.

Napatigil ako nang makita ko ang nanay ko. She's covered with blood. Holding a knife, slitting her skin. She looked at me while crying as she bladed a deep one on her arm. Nakita ko kung paano siya bumagsak. I even peed on my pants

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Why am I seeing this? Why is my mother doing this? Am I the real problem? I started to hate her. I hated her how she took her own life without telling me she loves me. "Daniel? Baka ma-late tayo tara na. Daniel" narinig ko ang boses ng tatay ko no'n na paakyat. Napatingin ako sakaniya but I can't say anything. I can't even move "are you waiting for your mom? Hindi pa ba siya tapos?" Tuluyan na siyang umakyat no'n at nakita ko ang pag tigil niya nang makita ang nanay kong nakahiga sa masters bed, covered with blood.

Everything went blurry. Ayoko nalang 'din maalala ang nangyaring 'yon but it hunts me every night. It really does.

When I turned 13, pakiramdam ko nagiging okay naman na ako bit by bit. I learned how to have friends. How to be happy again. But then I over heard my dad and aunt. "Nakulong ang nanay ni Daniel. Good choice that you took the kid. Hindi talaga mabuting ina 'yon"

'Doon ko nalaman na anak ako ni dad sa isang babae na naka-one night stand niya sa isang club. Nagkaroon ng anak si dad sa babaeng mababa ang lipad. Asawa na niya no'n ang kinikilala kong ina. Now I know why she was depressed and would hurt me without any reason.

I hate her still.

I even hate my biological mom more.

I wanted to go back in Canada that time pero hindi pwede. Dad is starting to work at the University my grand father owns. Siya na ang susunod na mag-papatakbo no'n kaya hindi pwedeng umalis.

Nawalan na ng time ang tatay ko saakin no'n kaya naman nagkaroon ako ng time para umalis alis kung saan saan and had a lot of friends. Nag karoon ako ng ka-MU (mutual understanding) na mas matanda saakin. I was in the 2nd year of highschool while she's a 4th year student. Para saakin okay ang lahat. I felt a bit loved that time. Pero nalaman ko na she's just using me for shits since she knows that my family is wealthy.

Nadagdagan ang pagka-inis ko sa mga babae. I delt like they're just the same.

Dahil dito, I never told anyone that I'm the son's owner. That I'm a heir. That my family is wealthy. Nawala 'rin ang loob ko sa mga babae.

In the senior year of my highschool, nagkaroon si dad ng bagong asawa. Which is the present one right now. She was okay at the first month pero habang tumatagal, nagiging brutal siya. Kapag wala si dad she would hurt me like how my mom hurted me. She even pushed me one time at the stairs at tinapakan ang kamay ko.

Kung bakit laging may bandage ang kamay ko? It's her fault. She would bang the door hard kahit nandoon ang kamay ko. I know I'm bigger than her but even if I hate women, I still have respect for them. Lalo na sakaniya dahil asawa siya ni dad.

Sometimes, she would press her cigarette on me. She would do cruel things to me and act like an angel when my dad is here. Parang nabuhay ang dati kong nanay.

Hindi ako makapag sumbong. My dad will feel lonely and betrayed kapag nawala itong asawa niya. Hindi niya alam, may pa-sugalan na dito sa bahay namin. I can't tell anything. I wanted to but I can't. I can't even save myself

Should I just end it? Or it's an endless game that I'm suffering into?

Nagulat ako nang muling bumukas ang pintuan ng kwarto ko at nakita ko ang galit na galit na mata ng step mother ko "hindi ka nanaman ba nakikinig saakin ha!?" She attacked me and pressed her cigarette on my left hand.

Pakiramdam ko I reached my point at tinabig ko ang kamay niya atsaka siya tinulak. Parang nag dilim ang paningin ko because I wrapped my hands around her neck. I want her to die. I want her gone. I want her to pay for everything. Nararamdaman ko ang pag palo niya sa kamay ko but I can't stop. There's someone whispering to me that I should do this

"Daniel!! What are you doing!?" Napatigil ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni dad. Agad na tumakbo ang step mother ko sakaniya habang hawak ang leeg niya at umiiyak

"Nakita mo ba ang ginawa ng anak mo!? I did everything to him! I treated him like my own son pero ganito lang ang igaganti niya!?" Gusto kong pumalakpak sa pagiging best actress niya.

"Daniel! Get out of my house!"