Dear Almost (W., #1)

Page 1 - Are you happy?

Dear Almost,

I was glad that I could see your genuine smile. You looked happy. Both of you. I guess you are each other's happiness.

Naalala ko tuloy ang mga panahong ikaw pa ang dahilan ng mga ngiti ko. Tuwing umaga, hinihintay ko ang messages mo. I would always receive 'good morning' from you and those simple words worked like magic. They made me happy.

Nagpapalitan lang tayo ng mga mensahe sa loob ng ilang oras. Most were just non-sensical stuff and we sounded like kids who kept on teasing each other, but those times were precious to me.

I wish we could go back to the past to relive those unforgettable moments, but I know you would prefer to stay in the present with her. And I know you're already looking forward to the future together. Someone from the past had no right to interfere anymore.

It hurts but as long as you're happy, that's okay with me. I want you to be happier. I want to see you smile more. You deserve it.

Nandito na naman tayo sa parehong cafe. You were laughing about something she just said. You said you weren't fond of smiling because you didn't like the way you smile but look at you. You didn't care about your insecurity anymore, because you found the right person who could see through it. She made you smile. She made you laugh. She made you happy.

Saglit akong napangiti nang makita ko ang pagtawa mo pero mas naramdaman ko ang paglubog ng puso ko. You were my happiness, but you also brought me pain.

I never told you but you were the first guy who made me cry. Nang malaman ko na may gusto ka nang iba, bigla na lang akong naiyak pero agad ko ring pinunasan ang mga luha ko nang ma-realize ko 'yon. I never thought you have become someone I wanted to be with.

You stopped messaging me. You stopped talking to me. I waited for days but no messages from you arrived. Nasanay ako na ikaw ang laging unang kumakausap sa akin kaya noong tumigil ka ay hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. I wanted to talk to you but I was scared. So I just waited . . . for days . . . for months . . . but nothing happened.

I hope you're fine. And happy.

Those were the words I wanted to tell you but I couldn't. Because from the bottom of my heart, I wanted to know what went wrong.

Maybe you really didn't see me as someone you'd like.

Maybe you realized I wasn't the one you were looking for.

Or maybe . . . you waited for too long and got tired of it.

I don't know your reasons, but even though you left me hanging . . . even though you made me feel these unfamiliar feelings . . . I wanted to end everything between us properly . . .

. . . even if that meant getting hurt again.

Hurting,

W.

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