His Proposal

Chapter 25

I went to pick out my clothes for the day and jumped in the shower. While I was taking my shower I became lost in my thoughts. Was my marriage to Gavin really over? How is this really going to affect my children? Are we going to have to go to court? Will I have to go to work? I have been a housewife for so long, it would definitely feel odd to have someone else with my children while I work. Sitting with them for a few hours is totally different. I guess there are a lot of things I should be preparing for if this thing we call a marriage comes to an end. I'm so torn. One minute I wish he would just divorce me and the next I still want to be with him. I don't know what to do at all. I know one thing we need to get this straightened out, and soon.

After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I was ready to go and spend some time with my babies. They were sitting on the couch waiting for me when I went into the living room. Angel looked like someone had stolen her favorite stuffed animal, or worse eaten her halos. She was looking at a picture I took of her and Gavin at a carnival in Washington Park.

"Mom I miss him. He's a major disappointment, but I really miss him."

"I know baby, he'll be back sooner or later."

"It won't be the same if you all get divorced."

"I've been watching Cosby show reruns; I always imagine us like we are the Huxtables. Claire and Heathcliff Huxtable and their children had a great family. Why can't we be like that?"

"You'll have to ask your father about that sweetheart."

 I had no idea my daughter took to watching the Cosby show. I let her watch a few episodes when she was about seven years old. I had no idea she was still watching the show. Everybody wants or wanted a family like the Huxtables. Unfortunately, my family was nothing like the Huxtables growing up. Eventually, my mom did what I may have to do. She got a divorce because my father couldn't be faithful, and had a significant amount of children outside their marriage. Thinking about this makes me wonder if Gavin has cheated before the one I know about now. Does he have any children outside of our marriage? I think it's pretty clear that I need to start asking some serious questions. 

We were ready to leave when the phone rang. I didn't answer because I was looking for my keys. I had an automatic starter for the car on my key chain. I could start the car and heat it up before we got in. Winter in Chicago this year is colder than it has been in recent years. I have to make sure we stay warm and no one gets sick. Last year everyone caught the flu including me. Taking care of a sick family in the dead of winter is not an easy task. We were like one big germ. I disinfected the house so much I could have been a spokesperson for Lysol.

I found my keys in the bottom of my purse, told the children to meet me on the porch, and wait for me. As I was coming out and locking the front door, my phone rang again. Whoever it was could wait, today is all about the babies. They were excited and ready to go. I told them we were going to have a fun-filled day, but that's all I told them. I didn't really know where we were going.

 We piled into the car, I put the key in the ignition, started it up, and put it in reverse to pull out of the driveway. Off we go driving through the city of Chicago. The first stop was IHOP, my children have an obsession with pancakes, and I don't cook them as often as I could. After the first stop Sharee, Angel, and Jonathon started asking to go to the specific places they like. The second stop was Walmart. Sharee is a clothes horse. She's never been big on brand names, like most of her friends, but she loves shopping for clothes and shoes at places like Target and Walmart. I like this because most children her age want everything they see, especially name brands. I hit the jackpot with this child. 

Everyone got something before we left. I found a book on writing fiction, Angel got a mystery book, and Jonathon got a Lego set, at this age he is all about his toys. Angel wanted to go to an actual book store to do some browsing around. Walmart has a book section, but it's nothing compared to the book store. We went to a book store in Hyde Park, it's one of the first book stores I ever took them to. Angel loves that particular book store. We spent an hour browsing books and having a conversation with the coffee baristas there. She really wanted to drink some coffee, but I think she's a little young for coffee. Once we left there I asked Jonathon where he wanted to go. He picked someplace where they served food and had games. We ended our Sunday with dinner and games at Dave and Busters. It was a fun day, and I needed to do more things like this with them. It'll get me and them out of the house for some fresh air, and we'll be able to have some bonding time. 

On the ride home, everyone fell asleep. They were whooped, maybe this meant they would go straight to bed when we got home. One could only hope, I have a book on writing I want to start reading. I think the writing could be my outlet, and maybe even my livelihood. I think one of the reasons Gavin is holding on to me, he knows I haven't worked in a long time. I've been a stay at mom since Sharee was born. I think he thinks that I won't go anywhere on the strength of that. I have always thought about writing, but being a super mom always took first priority. I'm not saying that I'm not satisfied with being a super mom, I just want so much more for me and my children, even if it's without him. 

Once we got home, I woke everyone up and had them help me with the bags onto the front porch. I opened the front door to let them in. Just like I had hoped they all went straight for their rooms. I think this is what my mother did on Sundays when we were children. She took us everywhere we wanted to go, so when we got home we were too tired to do anything else but go to bed. I have got to give it to her, this way was extremely clever, and the good part is it worked.

I went back out to the porch to get the remaining bags. While I was out there I just stood there for a few minutes and looked around. Was life as I knew it really about to change? Maybe or maybe not. Just as I was about to turn and take the rest of the bags in the house, I noticed Gavin's truck. It was a little too late for me to walk out there to see if he was in it. Besides I've seen enough stuff like this on television. A woman would be outside late in the night because of something she saw, and then she was never heard from again. That will not be me. I took the rest of the bags in and called Gavin. He didn't answer, maybe it was a truck that looked like his. Maybe because I thought about him and our situation a lot today, I thought I saw his truck. It really doesn't matter because I am not going to check.