His Proposal

Chapter 46

"Oh, Miss Adassa, that was a steamy chapter, but a little odd."

"Why would you call it odd? There is a whole world built around that fantasy. Believe it or not, people actually enjoy this type of play."

"Okay, if you say so. Sounds like some super weird business to me."

"Just go read up on it and you'll see what I'm talking about."

She pulled out her phone and went straight to Google. She opened her mouth and closed it again. She put her phone down on the table and asked me questions.

"What the hell are you into? Should I say, what the hell are y'all into?" She looked shocked.

"Y'all?"

"Yeah, y'all. You and mister, remember the man or should I say imbecile you're married to. "

"Oh, you can't really say y'all. Gavin is so vanilla. He won't do anything, but the regular stuff. He's really no fun."

"Who are you, what happened to my sweet, shy, and loving sister? What have you done with her, you, you pod person? " She pointed her finger at me and laughed insanely loud.

"She's right here, she just has a vivid imagination."

She looked at me, she shook her head as she walked around the counter, and over to me.

"I don't know what's going on, but I like it." She grinned mischievously.

We both laughed.

"Well, my loving sister it's time for me to leave and go home. Tonight I and the boyfriend go on a date."

"Ah, you have fun with what's his name."

"You know his name. You've known him practically all of your life." She furrowed her eyebrows and scowled.

"This is coming from the woman who calls my husband, mister. You have some nerve." I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth.

"Okay, you have me there. I am just joking though. Don't take everything I say so seriously."

"Have you met me? I'm a Cancer we take any and everything to heart. I thought you knew this." I laughed.

"Okay, crazy lady that's my time. What are you going to be up to after I leave?"

"Oh, I'm actually waiting on a call."

"Oh from which one of your suitors, Excalibur or Gio? I swear every time I hear the name Excalibur I think of King Arthur." She giggled.

"Duh, that's because it's related. Excalibur is King Arthur's sword. I swear sometimes I wonder if we are related. You don't like to read at all."

"But, I will watch a movie though." She laughed sticking her tongue out at me, as she dashed out the front door.

I took off my shoes and climbed onto the couch to relax.

Now that my kids were finally home, I wasn't so anxious. I could really relax.

I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels as usual. Once again I landed on the Marriage boot camp show. It had me thinking about the man I was married to again. Should I really give him another chance?

I thought about that and the guys I had met as of late. Excalibur seemed like my ideal man. Did I really know that he was my ideal man? Honestly, Gio was much too young for me, but I was totally intrigued.

It was nice to know that I still had it after damn near 20 years. I don't know why I was so self-conscious. Oh, wait, yes I do. My husband didn't find me attractive anymore and stepped out on me with some psycho who attempted to kidnap my children.

I'm still shocked she had the guts to try and run off with my children. Thank God, I taught my children to ask the person who's attempting to pick them up for a password. If the person doesn't give them the right password, they are to run away and look for an adult.

Oh, that tramp was a bold one. I still love Gavin just as much as I did the day I married him. My sister may have been right, that letter made me want to take him back.

He'd never been that sincere in his life, and honestly, it made my heart melt. When I think about him being unfaithful, I think about what happened with my parents. My father did my mother the same way. She stayed with him and she was miserable. Do I really want to live like that? Do I really want my children to deal with the same things, Kendra and I dealt with? That whole situation had me not trusting anyone growing up.

If I stay I could damage my children for life, and teach them what my mother taught me, not to trust people, especially men. I met Gavin when I was very young. It took what seemed like an eternity for me to trust him.

He's not the man I married. I don't trust him anymore, not with my heart and definitely not with my children.

Sharee is misbehaving and holding grudges because he's never here. Jonathon stays up late at night hoping he just might come in and tuck him in. Angel just doesn't care anymore. They've already given up on him. I'm not like most women in situations like this. I know that children need their fathers. I'm still encouraging them not to give up on him.

I gave up on mine, things were never the same. My children never really got to know him. I chose to keep them away from him. After he passed on I truly regretted it. Their relationship with him just may have been different than what we had. Instead, I chose to be estranged and not really include him in our lives at all.

I can't be with Gavin, but I won't keep him away from his children. I just hope he doesn't decide to be spiteful, and neglect them because he can't have me. I'm pretty damn sure that I'm done being Mrs. Gavin Carter. He can apologize to the cows come home, I'm done.