Last night he left our home at 12 am talking about he needed juice. He needed juice alright, juice that isn't mine. Unfortunately, I still love this unfaithful bastard. I've been in love with this man since I was 19. I've given him my all and everyt...
Who could it be this early in the morning? It was Gavin. I opened the door to let him in. I'm surprised he didn't use his key.
"Good Morning."
"Yeah, Good Morning."
"That sounds like a mad good morning."
"One question. Who is the Latino dude you met at the coffee shop?"
"Oh, you are following me around now? That's interesting. Don't you have a girlfriend to attend to? I'm sure she would be upset if she knew you spent your free time following me around Chicago."
"We aren't talking about her. We are talking about you, you are my wife."
"You have to mention that I'm your wife, every time we have this conversation. Have you forgotten that you are my husband, you took vows too? I'm not cheating, nor have I committed any acts of infidelity. I'm not you Gavin. I'll be single soon, then I can do whatever I please. I didn't know what you were doing for what seemed like an eternity. A whole year went by, you lied the whole time. I am not a liar. I have a couple of friends, but that's none of your business anyway. I don't have to answer you. You violated the marriage, not me. You have no right to become the incredible hulk on me. You have no right to say anything about anything anymore."
"Wow, you have changed a lot in this little amount of time that we have been apart. I still think you should give this poly thing a try. Shantay has been asking about you, and whether or not you'll participate. I know I have no right. It's just the thought of you with someone else irritates the hell out of me."
"You made it clear you didn't want me when you left to be with her. Am I supposed to sit here unhappy for the rest of my life? You can tell Shantay I won't be the third party in your little charade. I'm not built for the madness, and I'm not sharing jack. I feel like I have said this a thousand times. I want a divorce."
"I won't sign the papers."
"Oh, really? Okay. I'll find a way to get my divorce. I already started looking for a lawyer. I wasn't playing with you when I said I would."
"Okay, what if I stopped seeing Shantay, and came home to you? Will you stay with me and we can work this out?"
This man is a trip. I tried all this before, he completely ignored it because he wanted what he wanted. Now, that I'm okay with him not being here, and there is the possibility that someone else wants me, he wants to work it out.
"You're kidding, right? You have to be, to think that I would take you back after what you have done to me, and our children."
"Since I've been away I've had a really long time to think about some things. Shantay is cool, but she's not you. She's not the mother of my children. She doesn't keep the home front as you do. Honestly, she doesn't and can't do anything that you do. That includes the cooking."
"Aww, you've had an epiphany huh? Who's to say you won't do this to me again. We get back together and I think everything is all peachy, and wham another Shantay. I'm sorry, but I just can't take it. My heart can't take that again."
He storms out the door and slams it. I hear the truck startup, and I go over to the window. He's definitely pissed off. Oh well. I tried. I failed. I'm moving on.
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He is bored with Shantay. Since he grabbed her by her ponytail and shook her like a rag doll, she's been compliant and obedient like a puppy. He wants a woman with a backbone, some fight. A woman that will tell him where to go, and mean it. He needs to be with me, but he has done too much to me. He fears I'll never take him back. He doesn't even remember how all of this started. Was it seeing me in the company of another man that made him have an epiphany?
I bet that was it. He saw me smiling, laughing, and happy. He went to the place he now calls home. Shantay greets him with a hug, but he doesn't respond. He's like a cold fish. She walks away, and into the kitchen rolling her eyes.
"What's wrong with you now? You only act weird after you come back from seeing her."
He spoke loudly.
"She has a name. Her name is Adassa."
"Yeah, whatever. I'm sick of playing second fiddle or being compared to her. Why don't you just go back to her? We can end this, and all the drama."
"There is no drama. I'm just torn. I wanted to be in a committed relationship with both of you. Adassa is not having that. She's trying to divorce me now. I've really fucked up. I don't want her to go."
"Then go and be with her. I won't stand in your way."
"She doesn't want it that way. She wants a divorce."
"I'm not about to be the default chick because she won't have you back."
"I love you too pretty lady. I hate that this is so difficult."
"You need to hurry and figure out what you are going to do. I don't want to be the one to wait around giving you the best years of my life, and in that time, you decide with her is where you want to be. I won't be that person."
"I know that I love both of you."
He already made his decision. In the back of his mind, he knew he needed to be with me, his wife. I love him, cherish him, and I am the mother of his three children. I am the frame that holds the portrait together. After all of this, he realizes this, and he wants to come home. Where he is now is not his home. He is not and never was comfortable there. He wants to come home to me.
