Soul Mates (Phan)

Trying.

Soul Mates.

03.

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"Hi, honey!" My mom smiled, speaking through clenched teeth as Phil walked up to the door in his boxers. I smiled, trying to ignore her unsatisfactory notions.

"Hi, Mom. Hey Dad." My dad patted my shoulder and I fake smiled as Phil's parents stepped through the door. They hugged him and had swiftly pulled back from them.

The parents stood there and then handed over boxes of stuff. One had my name, one had his.

"Dan, can it talk to you for a minute?" Dad signaled for me to go into the den, so I followed. He sat down on the couch and I looked at the ground, forearms resting on my thighs. I heard him sigh and I looked up. "Did you and Philip sleep together."

"What?"

"Did you two, you know...have sex," Dad cleared his throat and I opened my mouth at him, totally shocked. "Dad! What would make you think that?! I hate him"

"Well," he scooted closer, "You two were matched and he came down half naked and you look like you just ran a marathon, and I've always known you were a little queer, but I just never accepted it, because I love you, but it's kind of embarrassing knowing that your son likes a good cock in the ass on occasion."

I stood up and yelled in his face, "Get out!" Dad was startled, and the rest of the parents, who were in the kitchen, were startled. I turned and saw Phil, who was looking at the floor, and awkwardly standing behind the archway to the door.

"Get out!" I started screaming. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed some of the china out of my mom's hands and threw them at him. He jumped when every plate and cup hit the floor.

I had tears in my eyes, and I felt someone's hands grab my shoulders back. I turned and looked into Phil's eyes.

"It's alright, Dan. Shut up." He said loudly, yet in a caring tone. I set the rest of the plates down and I watched my dad walk past me.

"I should've left you in that fire." He spoke as he grabbed my mom's arm and yanked her out of the door. Phil's parents left shortly after.

"Hey. You alright?" Phil touched my shoulder. His hands felt warm and I sighed.

"Why are you being nice to me? You hate me."

"Does it seem that way?" He grinned and I rolled my eyes as I watched the automatic vacuum turn on and pick up the glass and clean the floor.

"It has for ten years."

Phil sighed as he placed his hand on my thigh, rubbing in small circles. "I'm so sorry."I looked him in the eyes as he worked his hand against my skin. Slowly he started leaning closer towards me.

I grunted and stood up, brushing off my boxers. "I can see that you're trying." I nodded.

"I'm trying too."

Phil's eyes glossed over and then he put his head down, giving low nods. "Alright. I understand. It's just, the government has never made a mistake before on, you know, love. So I'm just...trying."

"Yeah." I whispered to myself, walking out of the kitchen and down the hall. Opening a few doors, I found the bathroom.

I closed the door and locked it, making sure that he couldn't come in. I sat on the toilet and my sobs became uncontrollable, my back heaving and I couldn't breathe. My tears were leaking down my cheeks, some making way to my chin, others going straight down to my lips, as I tasted the salty water.

I can't do this.

It's too much.

I heard a knock on the door, "Dan. Dan are you alright?" I tried to calm down to answer, but I couldn't. Hearing his voice made me think of all the good times we had, but then again made me think of the past ten years that he spent fucking with my life.

"Go...away...p-please!" I broke down, now on the floor. I was heaving and I couldn't breathe. I haven't cried this hard in a long time.

Phil was now banging at the door, "Dan! Let me in, god damnit!" The wood was thin, and soon gave way, wood chips dropped in front of me. "Dan?" Phil asked, his voice shaking, full of worry.

"C'mon." He sat me up and turned on the faucet. I heard the water and I calmed down a little. "Get yourself undressed, Daniel." He patted my back and awkwardly walked out, closing the remains of the door.

Once it was full, I removed my boxers and tee shirt, and stepped in before turning off the water. The steam relaxed my tense muscles and I sank down, so my knees were pointed up and my head was under the water.

I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't, so I just came act up, wiping my eyes really quick before just going under with my nose above the water line.

"Dan? Can I come in?" I heard Phil and I didn't respond, yet he stepped in anyway. Slowly, keeping he eyes on mine, he sat on the edge of the tub, "How are you feeling?"

I cringed at the fact that he was seeing me naked, but I raised up from the water, "I could be better..."

"What did your dad mean by...that whole thing about fire and...yeah." Phil awkwardly glanced at my body, and then back at me. I shrugged, lying to him, "It's a metaphor."

"Ah, okay. You need any help?" He smiled slightly, "I could uh...wait. That sounds queer."

"According to the government," I noted, "you are queer. But I'm fine" I tried to draw his attention back to me. He was staring off into space, ba fore clearing his throat, "Uh, I'm gonna...change." He stood up and walked out, not bothering to close the ruined door.

That will be 800 Units to get that repaired.

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When I got out of the bath, I walked to the room, and I saw empty beer bottles. About four or five. I looked in my box and pulled out my black leather short and some black skinny jeans. Finding some underwear, I put those on first, and then the jeans. The shirt was really hard to get on, but it was done in thirty seconds.

When I went into the kitchen, I saw Phil wobbling over the breakfast island, sitting on one of the chairs, downing another bottle of Oktoberfest.

"Philip?" I stepped to him and he looked up. It was obvious he was crying, and he wiped his nose and mouth free of booze and leakage.

He saw me and it was quiet until he got up and walked towards me. It was until he was a foot away that I realized he was not going to stop, so I backed up against the wall.

He pushed me into it and spoke harshly in my face, the smell of the beer lingering on his breath. "What can I do?"

"What?" I made a confused face at him and he pressed me to the wall harder. "What can I do to make you know how I feel." He slowly leaned down to my lips and kissed me.

"Philip!" I pushed him off, but he came back. "What do you want? I can make you feel so good, Dan." He slurred his words together as he pressed his groin against mine. "Phil, please..."

My feelings for boys started coming back as he slowly rubbed against me. "Philip. Get off...please." I pushed him off and this time he fell back into the counter top, hitting his head and then sitting on the ground.

I huffed as I tried to look him in the eyes, "I like that you're trying." My voice started breaking and he came to, "Dan..."

I cut him off, "I'm trying too." I whispered as I started crying again, the tears rolling off of my shirt, and I walked back to the bedroom.