She wouldn't
Die!
Everytime.
Everytime I see him,
I want to kill him.
I hate
the sinister glint
being
reflected in his eyes.
I abhor
the smirk on his face.
I detest
him.
Everything about him.
He leaves me in a fit of hysteria.
To the point that I want him to feel pain, to bleed, and to suffer.
I pound him, beat him into a pulp
Until he breaks.
It's still not enough.
It will never be enough.
I stepped on him.
I want him to disintegrate.
To be pieces that I've shattered.
Seeing what I've done.
Feeling of euphoria, engulfs my entire being giving life to my numbing senses.
Stop!
The laughter that escapes my mouth halted.
They're here.
They are here to stop me again.
They take a hold of me.
Preventing me from causing any more damage.
Why protect him?
Why protect the monster?
What is that look in their eyes?
Her image flashes before my mind.
She wouldn't.
She would never look at me like that.
Never.
"Let me go!"
He's unstable. Inject him.
I feel weak.
What I shouldn't be.
The hold they have on me loosens.
I willed myself to go back to him.
I wasn't done yet.
I had to kill him.
I had to.
I loathe
Him.
Me.
I want
Him.
Me.
To feel pain, to bleed, to suffer.
I bend down to look at
Him.
Me.
Once more.
"Why can't I wipe the fucking smirk on your face?"
I cry and laugh at the same time.
I am insane.
I see myself everywhere.
"Let me Die!Die!"
I take the shard.
To jab it directly into my heart.
My hand quivers.
The effect of the drugs is seeping in.
Her face keeps appearing.
Jungkook.
Her voice keeps resonating in my ears.
Hot tears falls down my face.
One thing that's more painful than death.
More painful than heartaches.
More painful than accidents.
Is
Accepting
That
She wouldn't
She wouldn't love me anymore
Because I'm hopeless and incurable.
Before I drift into endless slumber filled with nightmares of her.
One last splurge of energy
To blind
Myself.
I don't deserve her.
