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Heal - Tom Odell

Lily James Sirius Peter

Day 2

Hey Remmy, it's Lily. I don't know if you can hear me but I'm going to speak to you anyway. Sirius is back. We all came to visit you. Only one person at a time can come into the room, I think that's stupid but whatever.
We're all worried about you Remus. I miss you, more than anything. I stood with James last night and I think I will until you're able to come home. It's really lonely without you there. I want to apologize for neglecting you. I should've went home when I noticed that you were upset.
We haven't spent much time together, and i'm really sorry about that.
Please come back to me Remus.
Please fight to come back.
I can't live in a world without you...I love you Remmy.

Oh Remus. I'm so sorry that this had to happen. You don't deserve anything that's happened to you.
I tried to convince Sirius to come in and speak to you. He took one look at you and broke... He's in the hall with Lily and Peter.
You've become one of my best friends, you're practically family now. It kills me to see you this way. I remember sitting beside Sirius' hospital bed when he...when his...
It isn't a great feeling.
I'm going to let Peter come in now. I love you Remus, please wake up soon.

Oh my God Remus. I'm so sorry I let this happen. I should've stayed with you, I regret leaving you alone. I didn't think that you would do this. I didn't even know you did this sorta stuff. I've seen it a lot with girls from Drama club.
They all thought that they needed to look a certain way, but I never thought so. I think it's important to be different.
I don't have much else to say, get well soon.

Day 5

Good morning Remmy. I meant to visit you sooner but I've had so much homework. My room is one big mess, there's paint everywhere.
Oh yeah, the Pumpkin Spiced Lattes are back at starbucks. I'll wait for you to wake up to get one, I know how betrayed you'd feel if I get one without you.
I thought you'd like to know, Sirius hasn't left his room since he saw you...We're all breaking without you Remus.

Day 6

Hello Remus, looking handsome as always.
I'm rather cheerful today because guess what? I got Sirius to come out of hiding. He's a mess honestly. We hid anything he could use to hurt himself so he's doing alright in that area. But yeah, I feel rather accomplished. I know you'd be proud of me if you were awake. I have to go now but I'll come visit you tomorrow with Lily.

Later that day

Hello Moony.
I'm sorry that I haven't come to visit you sooner. I tried but...you look so...I'm so sorry.
Words can't explain how terrible I feel. That doesn't really matter right now. I don't really matter right now...You are my biggest and only concern.
I shouldn't have ran off when you left me that night. I was blinded by my emotions. I didn't even stop to think about how it would affect you and I'm so sorry for being selfish.
I miss you Remus. I miss walking around campus with you. I miss counting the stars with you, tracing your freckles, watching movies together, listening to you talk about your day.
I miss your sweet, honey scent. I miss the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. I miss making you smile...
It's fair to say that all the things I miss, I love.
I love everything about you.
I love you Remus.
And i don't care if you don't love me back. I don't deserve it. But you, Remus, you deserve everything. You deserve all the love in the world.
And if you let me, I'll do that for you.

Sirius placed his hand in Remus', rubbing small circles on it before bringing it up to his lips. He gave Remus' hand a gentle kiss, lingering for a while. Tears slowly leaving his eyes. He placed the small and frail hand back down onto the bed.

He moved to get out of his seat and leave when he felt a small hand wrap around his pinky finger. He quickly faced Remus. He glanced at his hand and back at Remus' face.

The boys eyes fluttered open and landed upon the tall boy in front of him.

"S-sirius?" Remus croaked out. Sirius ran out to the hall to get the nurse before coming back with a much shorter women. Sirius smiled brightly at Remus, who managed to work up a small smirk. More nurses came in, pushing Sirius out.

Sirius quickly called Lily and told her the news, earning an ear piercing scream of joy.

•••

"Remus my sweet little baby we were so worried." Lily walked swiftly into the room and beside her best friend.

"Lily..." Remus said quietly. His eyes were red and swollen. The nurses hadn't let Sirius back into the room on Remus' request. "Lily, how could you let them do this?" His voice cracked as he gently touched the feeding tube that was in his nose. Small tears streamed down his face.

"They had to. You had to get better." Remus took a long sigh to collect himself before speaking again.

"I don't want him to see me this way. I don't want to see him at all actually..." Lily placed her small hand on top of his.

"He's already seen you. He's apologized Remus."

"I'm just, I'm scared." Remus' voice cracked once more. "He isn't going to love me like this. He's not going to want me. I'm at my worst right now. I'm just glad that I get to be gone for another week."

"You can't just run away from your feelings."

"But he can?"

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