Scam

Marshmallow

Eoin drove us to his house in his stolen Ferrari. I could barely hear myself think because the speakers in the car were screaming "WALLSEND,BAKER,WHITLEY BAY THE FANNY IS PURE CLASSY. I'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO MY HOUSE THEN FUCKING SMASH YOUR PASTIE!" "Eoin turn it off!" I screamed. "You don't appreciate good music." He muttered. Then the speakers started screaming "IM A BANANA IM A BANANA." "Eoin this is even worse!" I screamed. "ALRIGHT!!!!!" Screamed Eoin, his voice breaking like a digestive biscuit. He turned on the radio and the first station that came on was the boring, dull,shit to the ears. For people who are  reading this story and are not from Ireland, this radio station is called RTE Radio 1. "Were here." Said Eoin. He parked the car and we all got out. Sebastian looked up at this gigantic 6 story house with aw. "Do you like my house?" Said Eoin looking at the mansion. "Holy shit!" I said. Sebastian gasped for breath. "This is your house!?" He asked. Eoin paused for a few seconds. "Yah." He said exchanging a wink with his left eye in the process. "Let's just say I shot a bazooka at the man who owned this house. I burnt all his furniture and decorations and I just moved in." Said Eoin. "Wow that's pretty cool." I said. "Ok Eoin what's the surprise?" Asked James impatiently. "Sean McKiernan,Daniel Nicholl,Sebastian Westmass-Engle and James Dolan, meet Marshmallow!" He said. He turned on the lights, and out came a donkey in a marshmallow shaped house (I swear I'm not making this up). "Down syndrome!" Laughed a voice cracking Daniel slapping the donkey on the arse making a asthmatic "EEE AWW!" sound. Marshmallow had a face saying "I'm not taking this shit" he charged towards Daniels balls. He hit him so hard Daniel flew 6 feet backwards and went through the windows and onto Eoin's Ferrari. Daniel looked like he had just been in a trap from the Saw movie. Marshmallow jumped back through the window cool,calm and collected. Eoin fed him a giant marshmallow (Again I stress the fact that I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP). "That's some retarded donkey." Sebastian whispered to me. "Not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed." I whispered back laughing. Marshmallow punched me in the face with his tail and I fell to the floor like a precious piece of China. I was barely conscious and I heard a vague yell. All I saw was Sebastian on the ground with bruises on his face. I tried to get up. I was put up on my elbows and saw a extraordinary amount of blood coming from Sebastian's crotch. James was the only one left standing. He is very smart James is, but even he was terrified at this time. Everyone but Eoin was just staring at him. "Jesus Christ it's like being in a cage with a grizzly bear." He said under his breath. Suddenly marshmallow knocked James unconscious by picking up Sebastian and throwing him into James. Marshmallow and the cat dragged me,James and Sebastian outside into his car park. Daniel was already down, grabbing his balls in severe pain and lying in a pool of blood. Marshmallow made a sandwich by tossing all of us onto Daniel. Marshmallow hopped into Eoins Ferrari, started playing badass rock music and suddenly  as the car was about to go over my ribs, he dropped down with a tranquilizer dart in his neck.