The Saving of Lance

When words fail

Lance point of view

     When I awoke, I was still on the bathroom floor the only difference is now I feel like shit. Drops by definition are a state of being where serotonin levels in an omegas brain drop drastically and suddenly. Serotonin for those who don't know is the "happy" chemical in your brain and without it you are miserable. Side effects of drops, for me at least, are depression, panic attacks, and insomnia; I don't sleep in the first place, depression is a constant, but panic attacks I can't ignore and the last thing I need is to have one in front of the team. Sighing, I slowly pulled my self off the cold tile floor training starts in an hour better go be useful for once. Allura agreed to let us wear work out clothes instead of are armor, making my life easier Altean clothes are rough on my skin and can make me break out in a rash. Omegas have more sensitive skin than normal making clothes harder to find that don't hurt me since I can't buy omega clothes, I'm a beta.

     Omegas are weak, I refuse to be weak I'm Lance McCain fighter pilot, paladin, fifth-generation Cuban immigrant, sharpshooter, and I am not an omega. These thoughts run through my head every day, but soon I will be exposed and alone. Looking down I notice my hands are shaking, I take a deep breath and start getting dressed. A pastel blue shirt and knee-length shorts, blue is a calming color ok sue me and the shorts cover my scarred thighs without me getting overheated.

     I strode into the training deck, the room is dead silent the team sat in a circle in the center of the room; they all were staring at me. Keith sitting and Shiro's lap, the perfect couple it never mattered that they were both alphas. I love them so much but they don't need me and my broken parts. Pidge glared at me, she has huge bags under her hazel eyes again. Signing I sat next to the lovely Hunk ( he needs some more love tbh) and Pidge. Looking around I apologize, receiving eye rolls and a concerned look from Hunk. He has been my best friend since before the first year at the garrison. Hunk is a beta and knows all my secrets but he is under a heat command and can't tell anyone. A heat command is an unbreakable command made by Omega in heat, once my suppressants failed I made him obey. I feel like shit for it the guilt eats at him and me but I can't tell them I can't. Hunk tries to help but can't, he has to stand to the side watching me destroy myself because I'm so far gone that only a prime alpha can help. The only ones we know are Keith and Shiro, no just no I refuse to ruin a relationship. I'm loverboy Lance, not homewrecker Lance.

     Shiro straightens his back, Saying in his commanding voice that on days like these make my knees weak thank god I'm sitting. "Today's training is bonding using the headgears again, I don't know why but there seems to be a rift between us as a group," I start sweating I can't control my thought process after a drop I am screwed. My chest tightens with the rising anxiety, Hunk puts his hand on my leg but it only made it worse. Taking a few deep breathes I try to calm down as I slowly take a headgear from Hunk. This is going to be a long day we start with Pidge, who shares a memory of her family. She tears up causing a puppy pile to happen. I flinched at the touches they burned. I thought it was going to be Hunks turn but Keith and his stupid perfect face nominated me. Here goes nothing.

                               Flashback(author pov)

     Lance laid on the edge of his bed a paper in his hand, crying no more like sobbing.  The paper the awful little white sheet read, omega. Lance stood up suddenly and started to throwing anything at arm's length. The Cuban boy sobbed and threw but it didn't help, he soon fell to his knees clutching the paper his chest. In the corner of his eye he spots a knife, he slowly walks towards it.

                             Back to lance 

    I jump up suddenly, Keith and Shiro look mad, but Pidge was the worse with a mixture of hate, degust, and heartbreak in her eyes. I never wanted to hurt my team, turning a sprinted out of the room ignoring the shouts of my name. I never stopped running till my room where I locked my door. For the first time since my presentation, I broke down.

SUPRISE EARLY UPDATE

 feel free to message me with ideas my little roses

-love, Ash