'All we need to do now is pray, she'll be fine.'
His words were running in my mind in circles. I can't just sit here and pray. Sighing deeply, I hang my head as I sit on the chairs outside her hospital room. They wouldn't let me in after Dasom's treatment started once again. Dasom has been hiding all these health issues from me, she hid the fact she had breathing problems, now she has developed once again this ITP disorder. She hiding more from us, from me. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Why is she hiding all of this from me? We are husband and wife. We always tell each other everything, now I'm doubting if everything she told me was even true. I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice Haejin had exited from her room. He places his hand on my shoulder. My body jumps up surprised. He smiles lightly and takes a seat next to me.
"I can tell how much she loves you, Taehyung." He says softly as he leans his head back on the wall.
He closes his eyes and sighs. I just look at him and then back at the tiled floor.
"You are overthinking, stop you'll get a panic attack." He states as he leans his head forward a bit.
"How?"
"Huh?" He looks at me confused.
"How can you tell she loves me?" I say as I look up at him.
He scoffs a bit and looks down at his hands.
"Taehyung, she wouldn't go on the ambulance without you, she constantly stares at you, admiring you." He states with a small grin.
"But she doesn't love me enough, she kept all of this from me."
"Look. I know, it was wrong for her to keep all of this from you, but just think about this. If she would have told you all the health problems she was having, How would you react?" He says.
"I would worry and do anything possible to help her." I reply.
"Exactly. That's probably her reason right there. She is more worried about you and how you will reacted. Gina and Nathan told me that you wouldn't sleep or eat, while you took care of Dasom. She probably knows this and that's why she kept this all from you. She noticed how focused you were with her, that you wouldn't take care of yourself. She loves you so much, that she would rather suffer slowly than to watch you not take care of yourself. Which upsets me, she can be so selfless." He sighs the last part out.
Tears stream out of my eyes. He's right. Dasom has always been so selfless, I know this, why didn't I realize this before. I sob softly as I stare at the tiled floor. Covering my mouth, I try to muffle my sobs. I'm so stupid why didn't notice this before. I was so focused on her health, I didn't notice she hid all of this cause she was more focused on mine. Feeling like a complete idiot, tears continue to stream down my cheeks and down to the white tiled polished floor. Haejin pats my shoulder trying to reassure me, but it wasn't working. I needed to see her right now. Haejin stood up and slides open her room door. He signals me to go inside.
"You need her. Go."
I stood up quickly and I wipe my tears with my sleeves as I walk in. I spot her sleeping figure on the hospital bed. Approaching her, I sob quietly. She looks absolutely beautiful. My angel. I'm sorry for not realizing what you were doing sooner. Her hands laid on by her sides and I take her hand in mine, placing a soft kiss on it. I sat by her side and lay my head on the bed as I hold her hand in mine. She looked so at peace and I didn't know if I should be happy or frightened. I couldn't help but think at the fact she hid her past from me. The fact that she has an older brother, it made me curious what else was she keeping to herself. My mind began to wonder and imagine possible stuff that she could be keeping from me.
Her hand twitches in mine and I shake my head as I look up over at her. Her eyes began to slowly open and blink a few times. She smiles softly when she sees me and turns her head faintly towards me.
"Hey." She says ever so softly.
"Hello my love." I respond as I caress her cheek lightly.
She leans more into my touch and her smile grows. She looks into my eyes and a frown appears upon her face. She pulls away from my hand.
"What's wrong? Taehyung, are you okay?" She asks in a worried tone.
Before I could even say anything Haejin walks into the room. She never took her eyes off me and that's when I realized how selfless my wife was. To her nobody mattered more than me. I couldn't help and feel stupid, blind and somewhat sad at this. How couldn't I realize this sooner? Now it seems so obvious. I lay my head next to her hip as I look up at her. Her gaze was still on me.
"Taehyung. What's wrong?"
"I'm just a bit thoughtful today." I sigh out.
Haejin sits down in the middle of the room. I look over at him and he walks towards us. He stands on the left side of the bed and takes a hold of her hand.
"You're slowly recovering, Sommy. That's very good. We have made much progress. Keep on fighting." He says softly.
She nods and smiles warmly up at him then down at me.
"Did you hear that, hubby. I'm getting better." She eyesmiles and gives my hand a light squeeze.
I stared into her eyes and smiles back at her.
"I did and I know you'll get better."
