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It was 2:58 and I was laying wide awake in bed. I groaned before slipping out of bed and grabbing the cigarette box from my bedside table. I walked down the creaking stairs and opened the door to the back porch. I lit the cigarette and took and big puff before sighing.
"Hey." Someone said bed me.
"Jesus Christ!" I yelled before catching my breath. "Hey Finn, sorry, you scared the shit out of me." I laughed.
He walked over to me and took the cigarette out of my hands before taking a puff and handing it back.
"Couldn't sleep either?" He asked.
"I mean, I passed out for 30 minutes before waking up again. I've just been on my phone." I admitted. Finn nodded.
"Same." He laughed. There was silence for a moment while I took a puff of my cigarette.
"Why did you let me come here?" Finn asked. I turned and met his brown eyes.
"I-I don't know finn. I feel like I could love you. Like a fucking lot, but I don't know." I rambled trying to find the right words. He nodded and exhaled deeply.
"I'll wait until you figure it out." He said rubbing my back. I put my head in my hands before looking up again.
"What the fuck is love even?" I groaned. At this point, I had been hurt to much.
"It just feels like I'm a hurricane. I get in a relationship, think 'maybe this is what love is', but I whip out everything and just feel more broken." I sighed before putting the cigarette o my lips.
"Trust me, that's not you. I think love is when you'd do anything for that person, or you get this tingly feeling when they say your name." Finn said.
"Why did you leave in the first place, finn? It made me feel broken. Hurt. Like the entire time we were together, was just you playing with my head." I sighed.
"I-I was dumb. I thought it was all going too fast. But now I realize I was too dumb to realize that I had to run." He admitted. He looked down at me with pure love in his eyes. I leaned in and gave him a peck.
"I just don't know if I'm ready for... this. I want to but I couldn't deal with being hurt again." I said putting my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around my torso and held me tight.
"I don't think anyone ready for anything, really. It happens and they figure it out on the way. I want to grow with you, Gracie." He smiled.
I guess he was right, my heart fluttered when he said my name.
"I need to go to bed." I said letting go of him. He nodded and looked down and his feet putting his hands in his pockets.
"Are you coming?" I asked. "You can stay in my room." I offered. Finns head popped up and he immediately followed me up to the loft.
I got back into my side and the bed and Finn got onto the other side. My head was on his chest and his hands were around my waist and in my hair.
Soon, I fell asleep to the rise and fall of his chest. When he thought I was asleep, he kissed the top of my head.
"Why is loving you so easy?" He whispered to himself. Little did he know.
We fell asleep together with our limbs tangled and our heart intertwined.
