Impulse ➳ h.s. (On hold)

11. Scream

I'm still trying to decide how I want Harry to be perceived so bare with me and his indecisive personality.

Harry's POV

I awake next to Jane and try to collect my thoughts from last night.

We kissed.

The feel of her lips on mine. The slight laugh she let escape, honestly it was strange but only because that has never happened before.

The fact that I didn't take it further surprises me. I mean I like her but I didn't want to have sex with her in that moment. I didn't need it. Her lips alone were enough.

Then I remember the words she used to summarize herself. She had a difficult time dealing with appearance. Though she summarized, she only summarized what she didn't like. I didn't hear anything about what makes her happy. What can make her laugh. Jane isn't her own person. She's become her disorder. Honestly I can't seem to understand it all. I know about her wrists and stuff and I can't get my head on right with that subject. Is it bad that I say her situation so bluntly? I just can't handle the truth of her actions. Obviously she overthinks, a lot, but can she be so oblivious to the good things around her?

Dwelling further on her answer just makes my head spin. Despite my declaration of liking towards her I can't help but be pissed. How can she ignore the concept of being alive? Or the fact that she is a teenager and is already in fucking Paris? I know damn straight she just applied to the school for this year because she wasn't around the last three years, so that means she couldn't have gotten here with a scholarship. They only give them to people who are here for a full four year stay. Rich parents I bet. Another thing she gets to take for granted...

"What are you thinking about?" She yawns and brings me out of my thoughts.

I see wavy blondish-black hair matted and messy separating from her braid when she sits up and crosses her legs. Her lipstick lightened to a pink because of last night. I try to hide the smile from my face, I'm supposed to be mad.

"Nothing important." I look around for my boots and slip them on.

"Uh-"I make it to the restroom and don't let her finish.

I need to get a hair cut. I'm not used to it being this long so I grab a bandana that I guess I left here and tie it around my head. Whatever it'll do.

"Don't do this." Her voice breaks and makes me stop brushing my teeth.

I rinse my mouth before I answer "Do what?"

"Don't act dumb with me Harry." She snaps.

"What the fuck do you mean?" The door opens and I match my voice to her tone.

"This. This is what I mean. You are angry and don't say you're not. The Harry from yesterday was fine, but now that I let you know my thoughts, they upset you. "

"I-"

"Stop, I'm not finished. Do you know how many people I've actually talked to that way?"

"Two." She doesn't let me answer.

"What does that have to do with this?" I drag my feet to sit back down on the bed.

"That means I understand your behavior.The first person did the same thing you're doing now. You are mad and you were trying to ignore me, but I won't let you. Talk to me. Let me know what I did. Don't let my dreadful ways take your kindness away from me. It's only been a few days but because I've spoken to you, I feel a little better." The pattern of her socks seem to have become the only thing she can look at.