Lydia Deetz and the orb of storms (completed 13/13)

The wrong house?

LYDIA DEETZ AND THE ORB OF STORMS

Capítulo 7: The wrong house?

Lydia and Percy saw through the open window of the taxi one of the luxurious residential areas of the city (there was no choice given the natural "scent" of the driver, house after house that surely cost a lot of money either to buy or rent them.

"This is the street," said the taxi driver to the sound of Menudo's disco music and the two boyfriends got out of the car.

"Are you sure this is the right address?" Percy asked her after they walked both roads more than once.

"Yes, there's no doubt about it, but... Well, it's not what I expected."

Lydia could not be blamed in any way, in front of the two young people there was a very nice little house, so much so that one could say that it was a life-size replica of a Barbi doll house.

"Gosh," said Percy, wrinkling his nose, "I think if I see only the front of this house, it's going to give me diabetes, and just see that you're the Gothic, Lydia."

"There's nothing to do, let's ring the doorbell," Lydia concluded as she gathered the courage to approach the huge, pink, gilded Valentine's grille.

The tune gave Lydia chills as this was of a markedly childish tone, as if it came from the Care Bears, Strawberry or My little pony, all of them combined and not in a good way.

"Come on in, it's open," said a woman's voice through the intercom, and the boys went into the garden.

"Are those flamingos?" Percy asked when he saw the plastic ornaments.

When Lydia was about to answer him, the front door of the house slammed open and a woman in very tight black clothes came out.

"It's about time you got here! You've got to get me out of here! I'm gonna go crazy!"

The woman was Elvira, who ran up to the boys and started to shake them.

"I think there's a misunderstanding," Lydia said with difficulty.

"Let us go."

Elvira was so upset that she would have continued to shake the boys if it hadn't been for Percy's inability to hold out and his ears and cat's tail came out, so the curvaceous woman stopped immediately.

"Wow, I definitely did use a lot of LSD in the 1960s!"

The impression of seeing the catboy and the state she was in made Elvira dizzy right there and she had to be carried inside the house by the two youths, who held her by the arms.

The interior was decorated with the same aesthetics as the exterior, except that unlike the neat front garden, the whole place was filled with beer cans and underwear, scattered all over the place.

"What a dump," the two kids thought at the same time but concentrated on putting Elvira on one of the pink sofas printed with hearts. Lydia cleaned the couch of drinks and clothes, while Percy hel"d Elvira.

That's it, Percy," said Lydia and the catboy carefully placed the woman on the sofa.

"I'm not hallucinating, am I?"

"No, Mrs. Elvira, Percy is a catboy."

"A catboy? Wow, I've seen it all now, but I thought the cat people looked more like an Andrew Lloyd Webber play."

"I'm not a furry creature! I'm more of a Japanese aesthetic."

"That is to say, Percy only has cat ears and tail, nothing more, not even cat eyes," Lydia explained to a strange Elvira who looked at her curiously.

"Well, then who are you? I thought you were my replacement."

"I beg your pardon?" Lydia said strangely.

"My replacement, that idiot Burns promised me he'd get me out of this dump."

"So this place was already a mess when you got here?" Percy said tactlessly.

"What? No, this is the work of your servant, Elvira, mistress of darkness."

"Yes, the girl with the big fingernails," continued Percy.

"Percy Shuuu" Lydia tried to shut him up, while Elvira raised one of her arms to cover her generous cleavage, while the other one was feeling around the sofa looking for a beer can.

"Mrs. Elvira, we are not a replacement, Black Widow sent us, but not for what you think."

"What a pity, I told Burns to bring anyone to replace me, she only had to wear Gothic clothes, they didn't have to be the same as mine, but at least she had to wear a whole black and macabre outfit. I thought you were my replacement."

"What did you want to get out of here for?" Lydia asked, guessing the answer.

"I just don't feel comfortable living in this place as you might expect. I feel like a brand new girl in a fat club. And if you're not my replacement, who are you, girl?"

"My name is Lydia Deetz and this is my boyfriend Percy."

"Boyfriend, huh? It's nice you have great taste and for clothes. First time I saw a catboy, I thought they were hairy like I said before, sorry for that, although I saw very hairy managers and not in their pectoral flabbiness I must say."

Lydia and Percy were surprised by Elvira's accent and phrases, apparently the teenage valley girl's accent and double entendre themes, were not just part of the TV show's script.

"Wait a minute... Deetz, you said?"

"Yes."

"What's your full name, honey?"

"Lydia Laura Deetz Cat."

"Lydia has two names," Percy said, but Elvira didn't pay attention to him. She looked at the young Gothic girl with wide eyes.

"You're... you're Evelyn's daughter!"

"Excuse me, but how do you know that...?"

"Evelyn was my older sister, Lydia, I'm your aunt!"

If an earthquake had shaken the whole house, it wouldn't have made as much of an impression as the revelation of the woman with the obscene curves, tight black suit and generous cleavage.

CONTINUARÁ...

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