In Sickness and In Health

In Sickness and In Health pt. 8

Gaga opened her eyes; she woke up because of the airplane making a little sky fall, but it was nothing. She and her family were finally heading to their planned vacation and had all fallen asleep after a while, she looked down at her lap and saw her daughter Sarah peacefully sleeping, her long chestnut brown hair covering her face, Gaga carefully brushed it away trying not to wake her up. Although she loved Sarah with all her heart, she was a tough one, it started with a very difficult pregnancy where she had morning sickness trough almost all of the 9 months and had to be on bed rest for the last 2, then she had to have a C-section because the baby was laying bridge and when she was born she could cry for hours and hours for no apparent reason, her mom Cynthia always said how much Sarah looked like her, and it’s true, she was like a little clone, but not only from the outside, also the inside “you were a very difficult baby too you know” Cynthia said to her when Gaga went desperate to her mother with a crying baby on her shoulder. But after she turned two it suddenly all changed, and she changed into a sweet, curious, somewhat cocky human being, Gaga couldn’t imagine a life without her upbeat daughter, “Wait until she’s a teenager, that’ll be fun” Gaga once said sarcastically, Taylor’s face had looked shocked and he mumbled “oh God”.  Gaga sighed again and softly stroked Sarah’s cheek, silently whispering “I hope I am gonna be there seeing you grow up, being a teenager, finding your own being and go off into the world”. Sofia was also sleeping at the seat next to her, with her head leaning against Gaga’s shoulder; she felt her softly breathing against her bare arm. Taylor had their son Joey on his lap, they were lying almost identical, both with their mouth a little opened and leaning to the right, Gaga chuckled and got her phone making a quick photo. These moments for her, something small like enjoying her family, meeting fans, creating music or even something as simple as cooking dinner felt so bittersweet, it made her scared and often she would cry, hiding herself in the bathroom or any other confined place. They hadn’t even told the kids about her cancer yet, Taylor constantly asked if it was necessary but Gaga was determined to tell them, even though they were very young and it would be hard for them to understand, later they would be grateful, she was sure. Gaga closed her eyes again, her needing to be strong for her kids was kind of a blessing in disguise because it made her stronger, more put together and she didn’t care what Taylor or her parents said about her not being able to be strong all of the time, she wanted to believe she could, just like she did for her fans when she felt crappy and had to perform, that idea comforted her “I’ve been through worse” she whispered and drifted off in her own dreams.

“Why do we have to change I don’t wanna!” Sofia stated “baby, it’s gonna be much warmer in Italy than back home, just put on your dress” and held a little yellow dress with big white polka dots in front of her daughter “oh” Sofia said, her mood changing instantly “I like this dress” she then smiled “good” Gaga laughed and helped Sofia out of her clothes and into her summer dress, Taylor had changed Joey’s diaper and put him into cute shorts and a little shirt he personally got from Gaga’s friend Donatella Versace and some sneakers, Taylor and Gaga never had to worry about Sarah and clothing because she exactly knew what she was gonna wear, she only needed help getting it on. After they got the signal they had to put on their seatbelts, they went to sit down and secured the children and then them self. Taylor frowned looking at his phone, he was a little distracted anyway for the past couple of days, she waved it off thinking he just had a hard time with her illness like she did, but this was something different “what’s up?” Gaga asked, Taylor looked up “oh, nothing” and gave her a faint smile, but before she could ask more, the pilot made an announcement they were landing, so she just let it be, for now.

“P-p-p-poker face, p-p-p-poker face…” Sofia sang out loud whilst skipping in front of her family, Taylor looked a little concerned, but Gaga laughed “well atleast she isn’t singing LoveGame”, Taylor nodded, still not very happy with that answer. They were heading to the driver who was gonna take them to their vacation home; it was the same airport Gaga and Taylor went to before their wedding, when Gaga was pregnant with Sofia. Taylor held Gaga’s hand “how times have changed” he smiled at her, she looked back at him and then at her happy daughter whose dark curls danced on her shoulders while she was skipping “feels like yesterday though”. The problem of having three children is that you have never enough hands to hold them all; Gaga was holding Joey and Taylor Sarah and they had to constantly shout to Sofia to stay close. “I wonder if we’ll get the same driver too, remember him?” Taylor laughed “probably not, what are the odds?” but then they saw a man waving enthusiastically and shouting “La Signora! Remember me? It’s me George!” Sofia instantly got shy and hid behind her mother “George of course I remember you, the best driver I’ve ever had” she smiled and even hugged him “who’s that?” Sofia asked her father “your mother likes to make friends all over the world” he smiled at her.  “Hello Mr. Kinney! How are you?” George asked a little more held back “good” he answered giving him a firm handshake. “Look at the bambinos, so beautiful” George said with a kind smile “this is Sofia, give him a hand baby” Sofia gave him a shy handshake “this is Sarah” Sarah jumped up and twirled for him “hey!” she smiled “and my baby boy Joey”. “Nice to meet, and see you all! Let’s get into the car and drive!”

 “I know, you told me already.. No- listen, just listen, I’ve made my decision; just leave me alone ok… For now” Taylor talked to his phone; Gaga couldn’t help but think he was hiding something from her, and she didn’t like it. Taylor put his phone in his pocket again and sighed turning his head to the car window, staring into oblivion. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t, it would only make her feel guilty and he was not gonna let that happen, it was a shame though, such a great opportunity, but family first, always family first. Taylor shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, so much stuff was going on, and he hated it. He also didn’t like the fact that Gaga wanted to tell their kids about her cancer, why would they? They were way too young and wouldn’t understand anyway, to him it felt like scaring them for nothing, but maybe she was right, he could be a little too overprotective, but which father wasn’t, especially fathers with daughters and at that exact moment he realized how much he resembled his wife’s father in that way “so daughters really do marry their fathers” he thought and even smiled “hope my daughters will do the same” as he looked at them, the one sleeping and the other drawing in the car “but please, not soon”.

When they finally arrived with the car, it was already dark outside and about dinnertime. The children were disappointed that they weren’t allowed to go to the beach “but it’s not that dark” Sarah wined “yeah mommy, please” Sofia added but Gaga shook her head “no it’s too late, we’ll go first thing in the morning, I promise” they both pouted, but their mood changed for the good when they discovered the gorgeous house, and it was indeed gorgeous; they had an amazing view, a big open kitchen, beautiful living room and even a small indoor pool “they changed it a lot from a few years ago” Gaga said in awe as they walked into the living room “yeah, it’s-“ “perfect” she said finishing his sentence. After discovering the house for a bit they sat down for dinner which was just a ‘simple’ pasta, it was just what Gaga and Taylor wanted. But when it was time to get the kids into their beds was not relaxing at all, more like a nightmare, they were too hyper and the jetlag didn’t help either, Joey wasn’t a problem but Sofia and Sarah were out of control, Taylor had enough and spoke to them firmly “if you don’t go to bed right now, we will not play at the beach tomorrow, understand” those words they understood and Sofia and Sarah went straight to their beds, Taylor and Gaga kissed them goodnight and shut the door, finally it was silent in the big beach house. Gaga sighed and played with her hair “I can’t blame them though, I am not tired too, how about you? Taylor shook his head “no not really” Gaga lightened up and smiled at him “I’m gonna take a shower… Wanna join me?” Taylor first smiled back, but then he looked away “no-no, just another time…” Gaga looked disappointed “what’s wrong?” Taylor shook his head again “nothing, nothing just go take a shower” Gaga got angry “fine” and walked towards the bathroom “you need to stop acting weird Tay” she said before closing the door. Taylor felt guilty, he wanted to, but he just couldn’t, so he went to sit onto their new bed, reading a magazine and waited until she came out of the shower.

“Hi there” Gaga said seductively, leaning against the bathroom door frame, completely naked, glistening from the shower, Taylor looked at her flawless body in awe, but he just smiled at her and turned his head away, Gaga didn’t understand “Taylor, look at me” he turned his head again “what?” she held her hand in front of her face “why are you crying, stop” he said worried and got up, he wanted to hold her, but she didn’t let him “baby-“ he said a little panicky “you don’t look at me like you used to do” Taylor took a step back “like what?” looking guilty “Like you could rip my clothes off in a second, you always did, I miss that” he looked stunned, and put his arms around her, and let her cry, “I am so sorry, so, so sorry” he said whilst comforting her “I can’t get that incident out of my head” Gaga knew what he was talking about, it was when she just got home after the doctor and they wanted to make love, but she cringed when he tried to touch her, Gaga took a step back and grabbed his hand holding it against her breast “feel that? That little lump is not going to get between us and our family, and it’s certainly not gonna affect our future, just forget the possibility that I might-” Taylor looked directly into her green eyes “die” finishing her sentence, she swallowed “yes die”.  He then lovingly kissed her, and took his shirt off “you’re right baby” he smiled at her “let’s not get this to affect us, let’s do this” and he picked her up, throwing her on the bed, like he always did, which she absolutely loved.