My dearest Melanie S.M.

Pages 45 - 58

Chapter 5

As much as she hates to admit it the night was fun, beautiful even. He had everything down to the last detail, as if they were being hand sewn through their own date. Every stitch was exactly where it needed to be not even a millimetre off. "Did you have fun?" They watch a movie, Aaliyah sitting with her head against Shawn's shoulder and Melanie on his chest. She needs the contact with him to feel connected, for her to know that he cares. This is the only form of affection that's affective in getting to her. She doesn't respond to anything else. She just doesn't understand the point of the roses and rings, or dates and bubble baths. The real affection to her is the sex -that she takes like a drug- the kisses -that she lets herself get suffocated by- and the hugs -that she melts into- but nothing else is affection to her. She will always love the bubble baths and roses, she will always think the dates are cute, and know that the rings are important to him. They'll never be the same for her. They're all empty symbols, kind gestures but empty ones. She just loves to know that he cares for her.

"I had a great time." She nods her sisters friend lays against his other shoulder. He loves all of these kids around and Melanie is nothing but confused. She doesn't understand what they're all doing, or why. She knows that she does it when she wants to cuddle, but they obviously aren't looking for him to hold them, and kiss their cheeks.

"I don't like it when you're so tense." He massages her shoulders. They are tight because with every move of his hand she finds her eyes shut, and her body jerking with pleasure. The girls aren't phased and it only makes Shawn smile. "They like you," he whispers. He needs her to know that they like her, he hopes it'll bring down her stress levels. "They like you a lot."

"I like you," she smiles back. He stops all actions looking at her waiting for her to say something about how much she likes his sister. He knows that they love each other, but he needs her to say it. He knows that they're listening. "But I love Ally!" She teases falling towards his sisters which gives him a large sense of relief.

"What about me?" Her friend scoffs teasingly. Melanie giggles and kisses her cheek expressing her love for both girls.

"Yet you won't love me." Shawn teases. She holds his hands and sighs softly. She just wants to be in the moment, to stay in this moment. "It's alright." He whispers again kissing her shoulder through the sweatshirt of his that she wears. "I'll love you enough for the both of us." He smiles squeezing her tightly. They aren't here for long, he'll be bringing her out to the cabin where they write his music in a couple of days. So Aaliyah's over so that they can spend time together.

"I'm gonna go to bed." She says. He grabs her hand looking into her eyes with a soft sad look. "I'm tired that's all." She reassures. He takes her other hand and pulls her closer.

"The date would never be complete," he presses his lips softly against her. "Without a kiss goodnight." He smiles sending her away and off to bed. He watches the rain fall against the window while the girls giggle and gag at his romance.

"We're going to bed too," Aaliyah chuckles at him. He's just staring out the window all pathetically but she worries it's their fault so they'll finish the movie on her laptop in the room she had in his condo. There are three bedrooms, two more than he needs so the other ones always have fresh sheets and he leaves them for whoever wants them. Aaliyah has claimed one as hers and she even got to decorate it to her liking. She has some clothes that stay here but they're generally just sweat pants. She wears a lot of his clothes.