Allegiance - Divergent story

''Most of them are dead''

The next day exhaustion doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. But to avoid unusual behaviour, I have to pull myself out of bed and get ready for initiation. I also have a new threat to worry over; the truth serum. Hopefully I'll not be one of the unlucky few who are made to bear it today, but tomorrow I won't be able to escape it. I'm not sure what I'm most scared about, sharing what I know with a room full of people, or revealing truths I've been hiding from myself. When I wake up my Mother's gone already, I hardly see her, but she always kept to herself. She never pushes me or hovers and I don't do the same to her, so it works out fine for moments like these.

My body aches and I groan as I lift my head, and pull myself out of bed. I can still smell smoke and something else I can't quite place which has lingered on the clothes which I fell asleep in. The odour engulfs my nostrils and makes my head feel woozy. Yesterday actually happened. I try not to dwell over the facts of what occurred, what I found out. I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit it. Even if I tried, I don't think I could understand it all. Allegiance. Divergence. Erudite. Tyler .I decide to ignore it. God knows that's what everybody else does.

 
Once I walk out of the elevator shaft, I stand for a few moments fixated on the Dauntless in the entrance. There's no more than the day before, but there's no less. I swallow my fears and nerves and take a step forward. I skip breakfast, but I'm sure the majority of initiates do. I walk down the familiar corridors, staring at everyone who walks past – wondering if they know too, they must realise something Is wrong, but prefer to blindly let the possibility pass by.

 
I stand outside the door for a few moments. What would happen if I didn't go? I've never heard of anyone in initiation being thrown out of Candor. But they are managing to cover everything else up, maybe they covered It up too. I walk inside, squeezing my hand together so tightly it hurts.

 
The rooms new layout strikes me of guard momentarily. Chairs are placed in a circle formation with one chair on it's own in the middle, isolated and vulnerable. There's a few people already crawling around the room, I can't tell if they're nervous or excited, they're too good at holding back there emotions, the way we're taught. But that's when I noticed her, stood by the door, her eye's directly penetrating mine. The girl from initiation and the girl I sat by at Lunch. Olivia.

 
She opens the door and slips out. Somehow I feel the need to follow her. She walks down the corridor, not looking back, so do I. She stops next to a set of elevators. These one's are old and hardly used. I stand in her eye sight and so I know she can see me, but she doesn't acknowledge me. We wait in silence for the elevator. I chew on my lip, picturing Leahs metal bar – I taste blood, but I don't stop.

 
We stand like this all the way to the eighteenth floor, which is empty. It's not underground like the floor Miles took me on, but it's close to the bottom and mostly deserted.

 
''I know what you did.'' She says, but not harshly.

 
''I don't know what you're talking about.'' I reply, my voice sounds detached, like it's floating between us.

 
''Last night. I know you've been up to something. I first watched Miles and now you're involved. I want-.'' We both hear a door shut at the same time. She stops talking, somehow she knows whatever we've been up to is too serious to be caught talking about.

 
I grab onto her arm. ''Do you trust me?''

 
She looks at the ground, she's apprehensive about trusting me, but I'm glad. It means she doesn't rush into situations, not like some. She eventually nods.

I lead her passed the elevators, to the fire shaft, with the stairs Miles took me down the other day. It's dark and this time I don't have anyone to hold onto, I'm doing the leading. So I carefully place one foot on each step, trying desperately not to fall. I hear her breathing accelerate.