'Zayn?' Vraag ik, bijna huilend. 'Yes Puck, it's me.' Antwoord hij. Ik kan het niet geloven, hij zit nu gewoon naast me. 'I missed you, a lot' floept er uit mijn mond. Ik sta op en wil weglopen, als een koude hand mijn pols omsluit. 'I missed you to.' Zegt hij dan. 'You missed me?!' Schreeuw ik naar hem. Hij knikt.
'You didn't missed me! I had tried every way of contact, no answers. Only one phone call: "Leave me alone." That's what you said. Since your gone, I'm depressed. Deeply depressed. I love you, and I don't want that anymore! I wish I could hate you, but I can't. I promised my mom to live a happily life with you, she died Zayn! And I broke the promise.'
'I missed you. I fucking missed you! You need to understand that! We couldn't be together! I wasn't possible! I didn't want to hurt you, when I was seriously gone. I couldn't live without you, but I had to try! My mom fucking hated you, you where the devil, she said once. I slapped her in the face, cause it wasn't true. I had cancer! I beaded cancer for you! I want you back, but I'm to late, cause I saw you with another guy.'
'I don't believe you!'
'Then you don't believe me!' Schreeuwt hij als hij opstaat, en mijn pols loslaat. Ik bedenk me geen moment en ren het inmiddels zeiknatte park uit, mijn make up druipt van de regen en de tranen over mijn gezicht, en ik veeg het weg. Nu zie ik er waarschijnlijk niet uit, maar so what?
Ik ren in top snelheid naar de klif op het strand. Ik ga snikkend op de steen zitten, en leg mijn hoofd in mijn handen.
Zayn
Ik ben haar kwijt. Nu echt. Ik heb het verkloot. Verschrikkelijk verkloot. Ik kijk de weg na, hoe mijn droommeisje voor me wegrende, huilend, weg van mij.
Ik staar naar het liedje wat ik net geschreven heb, in deze twee jaren. Het laatste stukje heb ik net toegevoegd.
'I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine
Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all
I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all
The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around
It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long
It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all
I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say
I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all'
