The Hairy Porter and the Bed Chamber of Secrets

Scene 1 - Hotelology

Angus tapped at the desk, drumming to the latest song of his band 'Shattered Explosion' into the pinewood desk with his fingers, while nodding his head passionately as he reached the chorus. This was going to be the song that would make him famous.

Noticing a customer approach, he straightened up and pretended to type at the computer.

“Excuse me. I have a problem with my room.”

“What number room is it?"

“702.”

The top floor again? He thought.

“Okay lemme take a looksie,” he tapped at the keyboard bringing up the room in question on screen.

“Ah, Miss Prentagast. So... what seems to be the problem?”

“I keep hearing this strange “wum” sound from the room next door. It’s making it very difficult to sleep. I’ve tried knocking on the door but I got no answer. I found it incredibly bad mannered.”

“Aye it tis, I’ll take a check on my system 'ere.”

He returned to the computer and entered '704' onto the screen.

“That’s mighty strange.”

“What is?”

“It says ‘ere, there’s nobody in that room.”

“Well I can assure you, I’m not making this up.”

“I didn’t say you were. I’ll take a look. Let me grab my key and we’ll go together.”

Angus grabbed his flash light and skeleton card, before accompanying Miss Prentagast to the lift.

While they were waiting for the lift to ascend, Angus eyed her up and down without her noticing. She was quite the pretty little number with long dark hair bound tightly in a hair clip, a skinny waist and curves where it mattered, he thought. She wasn’t his type though; to be fair, he doubted he was hers either.

With a ping, the lift doors opened and they walked to room in question.

“This one yeah?” he said.

She nodded.

Angus couldn’t hear any sound emanating from Room 704. He frowned quizzically before knocking lightly on the door.

“Open up, I’m a member of the hotel staff. We’ve had a report of a strange noise coming from your room.”

No answer came. Angus leaned in and put his ear to the door. Still nothing.

Waiting what for he felt was the ordinate amount of time, he removed his key card from his pocket and ran it through the card slot. He heard a click as the door unlocked before he entered the room, leaving Miss Prentagast to wait outside.

He walked inside to find the room uninhabited but not bare. Aside from the usual furniture in the room, there was a guitar resting on the queen-size bed, an EVH Frankenstein if he wasn’t mistaken. They were rare as fuck.

“Whoever was 'ere, I think they’re gone now Miss.” He said as he turned to face her.

But she wasn’t there. No-one was there. He rubbed his eyes; sleep must have been eroding at his mind. Maybe she returned to her room, he thought. Maybe he wasn’t losing it. To ease his curiosity, he approached her room and knocked, “Miss Prentagast, are you there?”

He heard light footfalls beyond the door before an old lady with curlers peered out of the door.

“Young man, do you know what time it is. It’s 3am. This had better be important. An ole girl like me needs all the beauty sleep she can get.”

Either Miss Prentagast had suddenly fallen in a vat full of old or he needed some sleep.

“Sorry to disturb you Ma’am, there’s been a few complaints about noise from the next room. Have you heard anything?” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck and the wayward hair on his chin.

“No, the only thing I heard was you pounding on my door like an elephant. Now if you'll excuse me I need some rest."

Angus was left dumbfounded and attributed it to tiredness from the gigs he'd been playing during the day. He took the lift to the bottom floor and sat back down at his desk.

Tonight's events still left him a little mystified, he tapped at the keyboard and brought up Miss Prentagast's details to find she was hitting the seventy mark and not the skinny prim young faced girl he'd seen earlier.