Multifandom Oneshots (II)

Dean Winchester x Reader

"Dean, I can hear you chewing, baby." You say in a fake sweet voice.
He chews louder. "Sorry, princess."
"You're an ass." You snap.
"You're a bitch." He growls.
"Jerk."
"Whore."
"Bastard."
"Douche."
"Dick."
Sam sets his cup down loudly. "Can you guys shut up? You're exhausting."
"You shut up." You both snap.
"I'm sorry, but I'm tired of listening to you guys argue and insult each other constantly. It's annoying."
"You're annoying." Dean rolls his eyes.
You sit in silence for a while, everyone angry.
"I can hear you breathing, Y/N." Dean snaps.
"Sorry, I'll just stop." You snap back.
"Breathe somewhere else."
"Eat somewhere else."
Sam sighs. "You know what? I'm going to the library."
"Bye, Sammy." You both say casually.
He shuts the door behind him, and you both start yelling.
"Maybe if you weren't drinking all the time!" You snap.
"Maybe if you weren't a bitch all the time!" He yells back.
"Maybe I wouldn't be if you weren't a douchecanoe all the time!"
He pauses. "Douchecanoe?"
"Yes."
He laughs. "You're such a bitch." He puts his arm around the back of your chair. "I'm sorry." He kisses your cheek.
"Me too."
"I'm not gonna stop drinking."
"No worries. I'm not gonna stop being a bitch."
"No, I didn't think you would."
You elbow him. "Jerk."
He shrugs. "Won't deny it."
"Why are we mad, again?"
"Dunno."
"Let's not be mad."
"Okay."
But, of course, the next day, you're back at it again.
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not perfect!" Dean snaps.
"Oh, me too!"
"Shut up!" Sam snapped. "Both of you, please just shut up. Since you two would rather stay here and fight, I'll be working this case alone—"
"You aren't going alone, Sammy." Dean snaps. "I'm coming with you."
"No. I'm going." You stand up. "It'll be nice to fight something I can stab." You glare at Dean before smiling at Sam.
"No." Dean stands. "You aren't going. You're staying here."
"Oh, I am? Are you my boss?"
"You're staying here and staying safe." He growls.
"Oh, shut up." You roll your eyes. "You don't get to make requests."
"It's not a request, it's an order."
"You definitely don't get to make orders."
"Neither do you, and that sounds a hell of a lot like one."
You want to scream. Actually, you want to punch that pretty little self-righteous face of his. But instead, you take a deep breath and turn to Sam, your voice calm. "I'm sorry, Sammy. We've been really inconsiderate."
Dean scoffs. "Oh, stop playing nice."
"Yes, you have been." Sam sighs. "I don't want either of you to come. I want as far away from both of you as I can get. And when I get back, you two better be over whatever it is that's bothering you."
"Sam, please take me with you." You grab his arm.
"No." He jerks his arm away and walks out.
"Well, honey. Looks like it's just you and me." Dean says.
"Don't honey me. I'm getting ice cream."
"Get me some?"
"Get your own."
You get both of you ice cream, and you go to your respective rooms. After you finish your ice cream, you bring your bowl to the kitchen. Dean had left his bowl in the sink, so you wash it. You don't even remember why you're fighting, but you aren't going to be the first to bend.
You go to his room to find the door closed. You knock.
"Come in."
You open the door and come inside. He's sitting at a desk, on his computer.
"If you're watching porn, please be so kind as to turn it off."
"It's not porn, it's Cool Math."
You raise your eyebrows as you lean against his desk.
He turns the computer screen to you. "It's Monkey Go Happy."
"Damn, Dean." You laugh.
"I told you. What'd you come in here for?" He shuts his computer and looks up at you. "I'll wash my bowl later."
"I washed it."
"You didn't have to."
You sit in silence for a while, then both apologize at the same time.
You lean down and kiss his forehead. "I know we do this every day, but this time let's really stop fighting."
"No promises." He smiles, pulling you down onto his lap. "I'm sorry. I've been an ass."
"You're always an ass."
"Makes me perfect for you, then."
"'Cause I'm a sweet angel and opposites attract?" You smile sweetly.
"Sure. I actually meant because you're a bitch, but that works, if you'd rather that."
"I would, thanks."