Finding Myself. ~Sequel to Loosing Myself.~

~Chapter 7~

For me to update next I need your guy's help... Can we get

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Ashlees P.O.V

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? Cus I always do. Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new, now that I've thought it through, crawling back to you.

I let out a groan, leaning over and picking my phone up, quickly looking at the alarm clock.

3:08am.

I don't bother checking the caller I.D, pretty confident of who's calling.

'Ashlee?'

My eyebrows furrow the instant I hear my name fall from his lips. He sounds so vunerable, so sad.

'Justin? Whats wrong?'

A wave of panic rushes through me, as I focus on every sound my boyfriends making.

'I ordered 40 grams. 40 fucking grams.'

My eyes widen then, my mouth opened agape.

'B-baby, where is it now?'

I stand up, not daring to lie down or even thinking about going to sleep when he's like this.

I can't even imagine what his minds doing to him right now.

'I-I'm just staring at it.'

My hear shatters, picturing him with the drugs infront of him, sweat falling from his forehead.

'Justin, listen to me. Get rid of it.'

'By what smoking it?!'

My breath catches in my throat, and I walk to the kitchen, fanning my face in the process.

'Why are you doing this to yourself?' I ask myself, taking a glass from the cupboard above me.

'I must be a shit boyfriend. A fucking shit boyfriend.'

'Justin, you are anything but a -'

'Do you have feelings for Ryan?'

My eyebrows furrow even further, letting his question sink in.

'Justin I don't, you know I don't. Is this what its about baby? Ryan?'

He fakes a chuckle through the other end, making a little piece of me shatter.

'I had a dream y'know. You were stripping down, into that black lace set you know I like.'

I gulp down a drink of the water, focusing all I had on what he's saying.

'You were walking towards a boy, who y'know at the start, I thought it was me. You looked gorgeous as always. So fucking beautiful. You got naked for him.'

I bite down my lip, hearing how hurt he was from this oh so fictional dream.

'The boy asked one simple question- what about Justin? you replied with an I dont care.'

I couldn't help the tears that welled in my eyes, thinking about how hurt he is. Over one simple dream where he lost me, he's so affected by it.

'Justin, you know that will never happen-'

'The boy was Ryan, Ash.'

I stopped whatever I was doing, unsure of what to say next.

'Its a dream Justin, non fictional. Its not going to happen, its never going to happen!'