Finding Myself. ~Sequel to Loosing Myself.~

~Chapter 5~

~Ashlees P.O.V~

'I really don't want you to leave.' I sigh, snuggling in closer to Justin.

'I don't want to leave baby, but you need to finish the school year. I'll be back in two weeks.'  

I nod, resting my head on his bare chest, watching as he pulls the blanket closer over us. 

We didn't do it last night,  I was disapointed i'm not going to lie. Its been weeks, I started to feel as if he didn't find me attractive anymore, but the events and words he said last night seem to proove me wrong.

'What are you thinking about?' He asks, intertwining our fingers. 

I feel the blush creep its way to my cheeks, making me want to hide until its died down.

Justin starts to laugh, kissing my forehead. 

'I think we're thinking about the same thing.'

I look up at him, his beautiful hazel eyes meeting my own.

His eyes always captivate me, they're memorising.

The thing is, I gave my virginity to Justin and I've never wanted to be with anyone else, so knowing he knows all my sweet spots and what drives me crazy makes me so happy because he knows them and nobody else ever will. 

'We haven't done anything in a while.' he starts, breaking the tension instantly.

I nod again, not needing to say anything. He stares down at me.

'I don't want you to feel at any way unnattractive. You're anything but that, I just don't want you to feel like we need to have sex everytime I visit, thats not what our relationship's about, honestly its anything but that. I love you so much and sure I want to express it and show it to you, but I feel I can do that more ways than just making love to you.' 

I look up at him, seeing his eyes already set on mine. My lips find their ways to his, captivating them in a sweet kiss.

He's perfect, I don't deserve him.

Do you ever feel as if you could never find love? Thinking, how could someone possibly love me if I don't love myself? I felt that way, I felt that way for years until Justin came along, i've never felt this way before, he makes me who I am and theres no way I could carry on without him. Even miles away from eachother ,we make this work. 'Teenagers in love' is what they tell us, but when we're 80 years old, together, we'll proove them wrong. We'll proove everyone wrong who even dared doubted us.

'I love you, so much.' I say, kissing him once more before cradling my head in his neck.

The words were simple to say for me, I've never found it easy to say such a commited thing. I do love him though, I love him with all my heart. 

'You know I love you too, more than anything. I'm sorry so many jackasses try and get between us baby, I really am. Ryan's a dick and if he even tries to flirt with you again I'm going to loose it. I just wish that everyone would get in their heads that I'm yours, your mine. I don't understand why they find that so goddamn confusing. I don't want to even imagine your lips on anyone elses, it makes me sick. Even knowing what he imagines doing to you makes me feel sick. I just love you so much and want you to be mine, only mine.'

A blush itches its way on my cheeks, rubbing my thumb on his palm.

'I am yours, only yours.' 

~5 hours later~

I walk through the airport with Justins free hand in mine, while his other hand is trailing his suitcase.

'I wish you didn't have to leave.' I admit, stopping when we reach his gate.

'I know.' He sets his suitcase down, wrapping his hands around my wasit. while mine instantly rest on his shoulders.

His lips meet my own, enhancing me to his sweet kiss. His tounge moves with mine. Yes I know, making out in an airport, but seeing eachother every day to 3 days every 2 weeks makes a relationship alot harder. His hand goes to the back pocket of my jeans, resting in them.

The airports pretty empty anyway, I get lost in his kiss, focousing on him and only him.

'Flight 26 to Canada, Ontario bording now.'

He pulls away at the sound of that, kissing my nose before gripping the handle of his suitcase in his palm.

'I love you, If Ryan gives you anymore trouble let me know okay? I'll call you when I land, I love you.'

He kisses my lips again, pulling me into a hug.

'I love you too, have a safe flight.' 

He smiles weakly at me, giving my hand a squeeze before slowly walking away from me, his passport in hand. He mouths a quick 'I love you' before leaving, bording his plane.

//Apartment//

'Lover boy away home?' 

I turn, seeing Ryans eyes roaming me intensly.

'Its definitley none of your buissness.' I say, pushing the key through the lock.

'Whatever babe.'

I roll my eyes, too tired to even argue.

Once the doors open, I go through, a slight headache over coming me.

screw that asshole.

~Writers Note~

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