Hey, Felix

4

Changbin was completely unaware that his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were droopy and always seemed to be looking in empty air whilst the teacher was talking about a lesson in physics. He was spacing out and actually all of the other students were aware of this and some poked fun on him yet, he was unfazed. His whole mind was completely focused on one picture inside his head, a smiling image of Felix.

Fuck my life. How am I gonna confess...

This same question kept repeating on Changbin's mind. He has been friends and living with him in the dorm since the start of the school year but still, he haven't made a move and it was getting harder for him to keep a proper interaction with him.

Has he always been this so in love?

Since when has this like ever started?

Does the kid even like him back?

If that kid hadn't moved there, will he be like this just like now?

Changbin felt like his head was gonna burst any second now, but no such thing happened. He was still there, like that. Contemplating on his life, questioning on mostly everything that has been occurring in his life or on what if those things didn't happen nor exist.

"Mr. Seo, close your mouth before a fly lands and chokes you to death," their teacher dropped the bomb which made the class broke into fits of laughter before she slammed her desk and continued on lecturing. Changbin, as if was from a trance, snapped back into reality and instantly closed his mouth and blinked rapidly multiple times, his eyes was stinging against the soft gush air.

God, for how long has he been like that? His head fell to the table, groaning endlessly.

_

They were at their dining table, eating dinner which Chan made for the whole eight people who lived in this home plus another, Jeongin, his young nephew that his sister dropped at his place to look after since she was going to work. Though only a few people are in the table, some are still at the school library and would be catching up and some are just in their room studying but will eat later.

Changbin had his plate full of food but it was totally untouched and it was getting cold. Woojin noticed this as he took a spoonful in his mouth.

"Hey, why aren't you eating again? Maybe that's why you won't grow any taller," Woojin joked, muffling since his mouth is stuffed with food.

Minho laughed and he hummed when he remembered something. "Oh! You should've seen the look on his face at Physics today."

"Gaydreaming, I bet?" Hyunjin asked and Changbin merely groaned, dropping his head on his hands.

"Way to be ungrateful at your hyung, now get outta here, you finished your meal," Chan ushered as he put a plate down in front of Jeongin, telling him to eat.

Minho and Hyunjin shared a bunch of groans and whines but actually followed the order of one of the oldest among them.

"It would get more difficult the more you mop over, Changbin," Woojin said as he fed Jeongin then asking the little kid how school was.

"I don't care anymore," Changbin mumbled as he forced himself to take small bites.

"If you won't make your move soon then you'll clearly regret it, especially if he is seeing someone and you're still head over heels with him," Chan advised and shrugged.

"I know," Changbin said, "I mean, I would get nervous around him easily. I like him so much that I feel like I would fuck up the moment I do or say something. If- If only I could talk at him with my eyes closed and not see that goddamn smile then—"

Changbin paused at his blabbering as he saw Chan and Woojin's frozen faces (not even focusing on his story anymore) and shocked eyes transfixed on something— or maybe someone behind him while Jeongin was whining for the both male to feed him. He then too froze in his spot as he realized, but slowly had the need to turn around and shit, was his heart was beating abnormally and he sure was sweating hard, when he knew that he's totally busted.

"Hey, Felix..." was the only thing that left Changbin's mouth, it was spoken barely audible as the nervousness took over him, but he suddenly felt a cold splash of water on his face when he saw Felix's hands travel to his ears and pulled out, black earphone buds that were stuffed inside.

"Oh, hi, hyung and to the two of you, too, and Jeonginnie," Felix smiled as he walked over to the table and gave a pinch on Jeongin's cheek that let out a timid giggle right after and also caused Felix to laugh in his cave-like, husky, and deep voice.

Oh fuck, Changbin just died.

"Be right back to eat. I have to change my clothes, I just got back from the school library," Felix said as he waved at Jeongin before turning away, skipping off.

"Why are you crying?" Woojin laughed obnoxiously.

Literally. Changbin just shed a tear.

"I-I was almost found out!" Changbin exclaimed as he slapped his cheeks with his hands. "Oh, man, that was so close," he whined.

"Super close," Chan replied with a nervous laugh as he stared at his boyfriend, Woojin, back on feeding his young cousin using the 'chu-chu train'.

"So," he dragged the word out, "when are you going to ask him out?" Woojin asked and instantly cheered at the happy Jeongin who showed him after he draw a squiggly heart shape.

"Not you, too," He sighed in defeat.

"It's your loss, then," Woojin replied as he paused and looked at him. "I don't know if you're afraid or what but don't let this get into you, the chances will get slimmer the more you hesitate and hold yourself back," Woojin said mindlessly, but genuinely, placing a hand atop of Changbin's, tracing soft circles on top of it with his thumb.

Chan inhaled and scoffed. "That's what I've been telling him, but he always says he's not afraid or something like that but he isn't making any progress."

Woojin glanced at Chan and showed a sympathetic smile at Changbin. "Then what's holding you back, Bin?"