Oh, How I Hate The Word MATE

Damn You Lucky Charms

Tyler

Why does Mason have to look so damn attractive?

My god, if he looked like a gorillas unshaven ass, life would have been so much easier.

But no.

God had to have given him perfect features and a perfect face with perfect eyes and perfect lips and a damn fine ass-

I'm getting off topic.

I sat on the island of my kitchen glaring at the back of Mason as he cooks me food. Stupid Mason. With his stupid little apron and stupid little spatula. He's such a housewife.

But he's my housewife. Mine. No one else's. Especially not that disgusting, slimy, fake little whore who tried to rape my Mason. She's lucky I was dragged off of her or else I would not have stopped until she looked like one of Jimmy's poops. And let me tell you. THAT is something you do not want to be near.

Why am I being so possessive all of a sudden? I sound like a man. Which would make sense in our relationship....

'Its the mate bond affecting you' Bobbi's voice sounded out of nowhere.

'Shut up no one asked you' I snapped back. Just the sound of her voice makes me want to drown myself.

'Well GEE. I thought I was doing something nice here being all civil and shit. But nooooooooo someone decides to have a stick up her flabby ass today' I feel her smirk along with those words.

She did not call my ass flabby.

MY ass. My gorgeous, beautiful, dashingly handsome bottom. THERE IS NO FLAB GOING ON IN MY TRUNK. Both of my scrumptious cheeks are nice and fucking round and perfect. You do not talk bad about my bootylicious booty.

'YOU TAKE THAT BACK'

'No'

'You're just jealous, Bobbi. Your life is a flab!'

'I am not!'

'Are so!'

'NOT'

'SO'

'NOT'

'SO'

'NOT'

'SO-

"Tyler?"

I blinked, and looked up at an adorably confused Mason. Then I looked down at the sexy plate of food in his hands. Why hello there.

"FOOOOD Gimmie gimmie gimmie!!" I whined out loud when Mason refused to hand the plate over. Who does he think he is?! Denying me of my nutrients! Does he want me to die of starvation?! That's probably it. He wants me to rot away in a foodless coffin while he gets the whole plate for himself. That greedy bastard.

"Give me the damn food bitch!" I jumped onto him but the little shit won't give it up! My goodness I just want the food!!

"Hold on, Hold on! Can you settle down first?" He pulled me off of him with one arm while he put the food down with the other. Damn show off. I am just as strong as him! He's not special! I can lift up Jimmy with my pinky!!

Actually no. Jimmy is such a fatass. I can barely pick him up at all.

"Alright here-"

Mason barely finished his sentence before I shoved his ass over and basically inhaled the food. Holy sweet baby Jesus this food is delicious! Oh my god can someone say mouth orgasm?! I moan obnoxiously with my mouth filled with delicious food.

"Oh my sweet mother of God this is the best thing I've tasted since I got kicked out of Arizona." I moaned.

"You what?!"

I waved my hand nonchalantly. "There may or may not be a warrant out for my arrest there." Mason's eyes widened.

"You-"

Before anything else happened, the front door was kicked open five large men that suspiciously looked like giant overweight leprechauns charged in holding very large guns. Holy shit, dream come true or what?!

"ALRIGHT YOU LARGE GREEDY BASTARDS TELL ME WHERE THE POT OF GOLD IS AND NO ONE GETS HURT!" I yell, holding up my spoon.

Mason had other plans and shifted right in my kitchen before jumping at the leprechauns. That bitch! You do not turn into your nappy looking wolf in my beautiful kitchen unless I say so! I demand you shift back right now this instant! So I could see that sexy fine ass of yours-

Getting off topic. Where was I again? Oh yeah, leprechauns!

Before could refocus on anything, though, my head was met with a blasting pain and I found myself in darkness.

Damn you Lucky Charms.

I am so sorry.

I know I know, I'm a terrible person and I deserve to burn in hell for literally abandoning this book for so long. I AM SO SORRY. HATE ME.

But if you are a TRUE FAN then you know that Tyler and Mason would have come back to you because they love you all so much and they miss you too and they are just so sorry and I could go on forever but I won't!

But really, I'm so freaking sorry I made you all wait so long. Between switching schools and literally having no time to do ANYTHING anymore and having my school work up to my neck all the time I have become cut off from my Wattpad society completely and it's terrible! Hell, I've become cut off from society all together. What is a social life anymore?

All this stress and writers block made me leave this story for so long that I eventually forgot about it UNTIL NOW. (Tadaaaaa!)

So yes I am back! But please be patient because these chapters will not come ever so frequently. BUT I WONT MAKE YOU WAIT A FREAKING YEAR. I am trying to find a way to make this story reach its end so that you won't be imagining me dying anymore though.

TILL THEN MY LOVES!!!!!!!!!

Show love! Vote! Comment! I've spent the last two hours reading every single one from the past chapters!