(GirlxGirl) Recognition of a lovestruck heart.

Chapter 8

Unedited. :D I wouldn't say this is a filler because it well has some interesting things in it but it is very short. Tell me what you think k?

It's been two days since I had my breakdown in front of Jesse. I woke up the next morning to breakfast in bed and Jesse sitting on the sofa with Journey on her lap. He looked absolutely in love with her and I could tell the feeling was mutual. She looked utterly captivated by him.

When she had realized I was awake she told me that my mum said I didnt have to go to school so I stayed home all day hanging out with Jesse and Jay. Jesse didn't press me about the whole 'father' thing which I'm grateful for.

And then today I felt like shit so I stayed home again. I am currently lying in bed with my guitar in my lap.

As I absentmindedly pluck a soft melody I let the events of the last week sink in. Elly. Her name swirls in my mind and I can't help but smile. God she is perfect! Her long soft hair...and bright blues. I've never seen any colour like it, except of course with......Jacob.

Oh god! And her smile its almost exactly the same. Even when she talks about something really important or interesting. They may not look the same but they have the same expressions. How am I going to look her the same ever again.

Don't dothisRyan!! SheisElly,not her brother. You are just trying to phys yourself out. Keep calm

No but seriously have you even thought about it? I have trouble even talking about him, hell when I seen a picture of him on Facebook I spent ten minutes dryheaving.

Oh god! What are we going to do?!?

Keep calm you're right! She is Elly and Elly is Elly, notJacob.

Yeah!! Elly isn't Jacob Elly is Elly.

Goodwork!

I grin to myself. Elly is amazing and nothing like that dickhead. I mean we have only known each other for a couple of days but I feel like I could tell her anything. Almost anything....

Oh gosh! What now?

What do you mean??

Well you have to tell her about the Jacob situation at one point ya know if you're gonna get into a relationship with her--

Hold up?! Who said anything about a relationship?

Bro you were talking about how much you liked her a couple days ago. It can't just change like that..

Well maybe it can....

What are you saying??

I'm saying I don't know if I can like Elly anymore.

Yes you can!! Don't be absurd.

I'm not! I'm being very rational. I mean think about it! Imagine kissing her and she smiles.... EXACTLY like her brother. I've had enough of him.

I shiver instantly and my heart starts beating rapidly. I quickly calm myself down so I don't have another panic attack.

You are being idiotic Ryan. Come back when you've startedt hinking clearly.

Look! I just can't do it, okay? I can't!! I'm so sick of picturing him in my mind all the time. I'm sick of the nightmares and the constant reminders of him. For freaking sake I already have a son that is a spitting image of the man that raped me I don't need a girlfriend to go with it!!

You are being insane! Can't you see that she is so different. So bright and full of life.

I don't know.....

What is Ryan thinking? Do you think she is right? Or stupid??