(GirlxGirl) Recognition of a lovestruck heart.

Chapter 7

Not edited and some of it might not make sense because I remember writing this at like one in the morning when I had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep xD hahaha VOTE and COMMENT please. Tell me what you think of the story and if I should change anything :D

"Jesse you better get your fat ass off me now!!"

I look up to see Jesse rubbing her chin in a mock thinking look. "Nah I don't think I want to."

"Ugh!!!! Jesse!!!!!" I start screaming really high pitch the way I know she hates it.

After a few minutes she relents with a grimace. I laugh at her face.

"You are still annoying as fuck." She says before taking a seat on the couch next to me. "Where's your mum and dad?"

I gulp nervously and bite the inside of my cheek. "Um..Well David is at his house and I think mum went to pick up Summer from there."

Jesse nods but then its like a switch flicks on in her head and her eyes get big. "Wait what?!!"

"Um....My mum and David got a divorce a couple months after you left."

"Oh." We sit in silence for a couple minute. Jesse consumed in shock and me in guilt. It's my fault that they aren't together. "What happened?"

"I uhh....got pregnant." I turn my head away in shame. My best friend in the whole wide world has no clue what's been going on for the past three years and trust me its not from her lack of trying. Hell I'm surprised this women didn't fly back here to beat the living shit out of me when I started ignoring her calls and messages.

"Oh RyRy....." She pulls me into a tight hug. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've come back to help you through it all. Please don't tell me you aborted the baby. Oh, honey did you put it up for adoption?" I shake my head. She gasps. "Ohmigosh!! Then where is he or is it a she? I want to meet my niece or nephew! How old is he or she? What's his or her name? Does he or she look like you? Oh gosh! Answer me woman!!" She starts shaking me.

"I would if you slowed down for a second." I scream throwing a pillow at her face. I let out a relieved sigh when she shuts her gob and lie down on the couch. "I had a boy. His name is Journey, he is one and a half. And....he looks like his father." I say the last part hesitantly.

"And who is his father?"Jesse turns to me with a look that has me instantly sobbing. I try to look away but she gets a hold of my chin, I then try to close my eyes but mental pictures flash a thousand times through my eyes. His face, eyes full of rage. His hands, pulling at my clothes. The darkness, ever consuming.

Then in come the senses. The smell of alcohol on his breathe. The vile touch of his body roughly pushing against mine. The horrible words he whispered in my ears repeatedly Do you like it Ryan? Is it good? And lastly the taste of absolute self hate as he took away my virginity.

"...Ryan! Ryan! Come back to me hon! RyRy!" Is that Jesse? I can hear her calling my name. I wonder what she needs? I try to respond but my mouth is not taking commands from my brain. I try to move my body but find it is doing the same.

My eyes that are also not responding are closed, blocking off my light to the world. Is this what it is like for a blind man?

Of course not! Because unlike a blind man I have seen light before. I have seen the pink and purple mixed together in the sky as it welcomes the new day. I have seen a thousand dews ever so slowly moving down the panes of a window. And I have seen the first steps of my son, his eyes filled with wonder and awe at the discover he has made.

I cannot know what it is like for a blind man for I have not walked in his steps. To block out light to the world for me would be as simple as closing my eyes but for him, a man with no sight a man that has his own form of light, it would be totally different.

"Ryan!" I hear a sob this time and feel myself being jolted forward. What on earth is going on??

"Jesse," Yes! My mouth is listening!!

Jesse pulls me closer. "Shhh!" She says rocking me from side to side. "It's okay RyRy. I'm here now. I'm never leaving again. You're my best friend." She is still rocking me back and forward.

My eyes get heavy. I let out a yawn and lean into Jesse for support. My mind begins to lul and then I am slipping into dreamworld.

Before I fully slip away I hear Jesse whisper. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you RyRy."