Only He knows

Fairy tales are for children

Momma stopped by today. Jamie was out with Zepp jogging for at least a good hour. The man loves to exercise outdoors. I stayed in because I had gotten the text from momma telling me that she was coming. Jamie thought it best to be MIA for this encounter seeing as momma had to pick up the broken pieces of my heart the last time. She knew he was in town though. She has her ways.

I hear a knock at the door. Momma never knocks so I assume she is making her presence known before entering in case I wasnt decent. I chuckle to myself but know I am in for an earful. She doesnt wait for me to open the door, and instead barges in. Hi momma. I give her a hug, and she kisses my forehead. Hi baby girl. I know he is here. Where is he? I want to talk to the both of you right this instant!. He is stern but doesnt raise her voice too much above her normal tone. I wince and grasp her hand, as we move toward the couch. Momma, he is out with Zepp. He went for a jog and I think it is better that we talk before you go off on him. He flew in and explained to me that he and Amelia are on an indefinite break until he decides what he wants. He doesnt want to be with her. He wants me. He wants us to work. I need to know that you support me in this because I am so confused right now. I feel like the worst human being ever. I want Jamie and I to see where this goes but I keep thinking maybe it is best we let this go. I dont want to hurt Amelia or Dulcie. I just dont know momma. I am crying at this point. Sobbing as I hold mommas hand and plead with her to take it easy on me.

Baby girl, if you love this man and he truly loves you then I support you. I just want to give you one piece of advice. This will not end well. It will never end well. Whether he leaves her in ten years for you. You will always be considered the other woman to the public. You will always be the one that made his marriage fail to them. If he is what you want, then go for it but know that you are responsible for those actions to the media and to your fans. You have a responsibility to yourself first. To protect your heart. Is this what you want? Do you love him that much, that you would sacrifice a marriage, a stable home for a child, possibly your fans and be labeled in your career? I love you and support your decision fully, but he needs to be willing to give you his everything. I mean it! You are worth so much more than a Hollywood affair. He needs to show you that. Do things the right way. I will not tolerate anything less and neither will your father. I love Jamie too. We got along great and he looks like an amazing person but being with him is a risk you need to be fully sure of. Love is a wonderful thing hunny, just make sure you love yourself first and foremost. Make sure you put yourself first and him and everyone else second. The tears that had started before were flowing more rapidly now. Momma hugged me tight and it seemed like we were never going to let go.

After a few minutes her phone rang. She tentatively let me go, and by now I was better. I had stopped crying and was just sniffling at this point. She finished her call, while I finished composing myself and she said her goodbyes, vowing to come back and speak to Jamie herself. I hugged her, sending her off on her way. I went to my bathroom and sat down. I have so much to think about. So much to sort out. I am so confused, overwhelmed and depressed. I think it best I get my head together for when Jamie gets back. I dont want him to know just yet that I am having doubts. That I have concerns. We still have so much to do together. I will have to bring this up to him in a way that makes it seem like his idea. To protect us, his family and the movies image.

I wash my face off and put on my best smile. Applying some tinted moisturizer and a little blush, I finish my look with a light pink lip gloss and a bit of mascara. I step out and get dressed in a sundress and flats. Today we are to meet with the new director, James Foley to start discussing filming soon. We have gotten the go ahead for the next two movies and his plan is to film them together for various reasons. He thinks we have aged since the first and they are supposed to be one right after the other. I think the second picks up only a few days after the first. Another reason is his timing with other projects. He also wants Jamie and I to spend more time together and knows we are busy with upcoming projects as well. He wants to make sure he respects Sams first interpretation of the first movie, while giving the story his own spin. He wants the second and third movies to be softer and he has lots of plans for the color scheme.

The door opens and Zepp comes rushing into the kitchen for some water. Jamie trails behind him and gives me a quick peck on the lips. so, how was your mums visit, love?. Fine, she had to leave pretty quickly though because of some meeting she had to go to. She wanted to say hi though. I end it there. Knowing that if I told him why she wanted to see him it would just make things worse. Oh, well sorry I missed her, then. I am going to jump in the shower and I will be ready in 15. I nod, and he gives me one more kiss before he walks down the hall.

The meeting went great, and Jamie and I decide to head to a movie and some dinner. After the movie is over, we walk on the beach. It is nice when no one is around to ruin our time. Everyone thinks that celebrities have no control over paparazzi or being photographed but we have our ways to make it not happen. We head to a very private restaurant, secluded from onlookers and have dinner, which was Italian food. I love pasta! Yum. I drive us back to my house and Jamie seems off. I ignore that feeling in my gut, telling me something is wrong and head for the bedroom.

I start to undress and get ready for a quick shower. Jamie didnt come in with me and I am getting more nervous. Was momma, right? Is he putting his selfish needs ahead of me? I cant think this way, or my world will come crumbling down again. I jump into the shower without saying a word to him. The TV is on when I step out, and I quickly get dressed and head to the living room. Jamie looks up at me and gives me a weak smile. I return his look with my own half-assed smirk and tell him I am going to bed. He answers me by saying he is not too sleepy and wants to watch some late-night show.

I grab a water bottle and head back to the bedroom. Turning off the big lights but leave on the side lamp for when he gets into bed. I lay down covering up my body with my favorite comforter. I try to think of what is going on with him but all I can think of are negative thoughts that plague my mind. I slowly drift off to sleep.

I am brought back groggily to the land of the living when Jamie comes into the room and trips over the waste paper basket before he noisily gets into bed and then he kisses my cheek. I sleepily smile at him about to go back to sleep, when he says, We have got to talk. There is something I didnt tell you before. Amelia is 6 months pregnant. She still wants me to decide and I have chosen you but I thought you should know. Its not just me you are getting in this deal. Its the girls and I. To the end. Yeah, she is having another girl.

Well, Ill be damned.

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