moon-bound ♤ wolfstar

chapter//seventeen (sorry it's short)

art by alessajontrunfio on tumblr!

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James and Lily got married in a small chapel in Las Vegas a week later. James had a couple glasses of wine to calm his nerves and Lily had babbled about all of her insecurities to Remus who had ended up drinking four glasses of wine to calm his nerves, while Sirius had drunk five and Peter seven. They both stood there nervously laughing and sharing brief kisses while the preacher married them, and even the preacher couldn't keep the smile off his face because they weren't drunk. They were happy and (mostly) sober.

Remus stood at Lily's side and Sirius stood at James' side. Peter was a little put out, but was quickly cheered up when Lily and James gave him the job of presenting their rings. It was the most informal wedding any of them had been too, with unnecessary laughter and kisses while the preacher was talking, Remus and Sirius were whispering to each other and Peter kept gaping, but Lily and James didn't care, all their focus was on each other.

The after party was still just as calm, they wandered back to their hotel and gambled, while Lily and James kept looking at each other and whispering "I can't believe we're married." Because after Lily hated him for six years, it was hard for all of them to believe. But they were all happy, so, so happy.

But in Remus's mind, that night would always be the one where everything turned out okay. They were doing better, they were happy, but Remus knew it wouldn't last. He could feel in it his bones, something would happen before they all got their happy ending and it made him uneasy and weary because he felt closer to his friends than ever before, he had come out of his shell and he'd been himself for the first time in a long time. He couldn't lose any of them, but everything felt wrong.

That night in their hotel room, Sirius was laying on his back, still giddy and talkative from the alcohol and Remus's mind was slow and a little off because he'd drank too, but that didn't matter because he wasn't drunk, his brain just wasn't functioning as it usually did. He wanted to marry Sirius, he knew he had since he realized he was crushing on him in their fourth year. If something were to go wrong, he would want Sirius to know how much he loved him, and how much he meant to him.

So, while he laid there, while Sirius tangled his hair and drunkenly babbled about one of his pranks with James in their second year, Remus debated. He debated with himself for letting four little words slip from his lips. If he said no, he could always blame it on the wine, couldn't he? Would Sirius believe that? He hoped so. Remus blinked and looked up at Sirius, causing him to stop talking midsentence.

"Hey, Siri?" Sirius hummed in response, looking down at the tawny-haired boy in his arms. They were in love, they knew each other. Remus knew it was rushed, but if something were to happen to them... he couldn't have Sirius without knowing how much Remus felt for him, how strongly he loved him and how serious he was about their relationship. He refused to lose him again. And if he were to die he wanted Sirius to know this was real, if it couldn't happen later he still wanted it to happen. If Sirius died, well, Remus wanted him to die knowing how he felt. "Will... you know do want to... marry me? Will you marry me."

Sirius said nothing in reply, not at first, he just laughed. Chuckled as if Remus had simply told him a joke, and Remus's heart sank, but a moment later he was thrown from Sirius's chest as he sat up, eyes wide and looking down at Remus. Remus looked back at him with a similar expression because what the bloody hell was that all about? "What?" Sirius gasped, leaning slightly forward. "You're joking, right?"

"What? No! Why would I be jo-"

"You must be! Why would you want to marry me, in the first place? I've been a total dick to you-"

"Sirius! No, you haven't, well ma-"

"And second! We're so young, Rem! And we just got back together as a proper couple and-"