back to you. ʲᵃᵉᵐⁱⁿ

4

JiEun's POV

Na Jaemin..

I didn't expect to hear his name again.

Na Jaemin..

It's just a simple name. But my heart tightens when I hear it.

Na Jaemin. He's just a simple boy. A simple human being in this cruel world. But why am I affected??

I only have a reason for that..

I.. I'm the one...

I'm the one who broke up with him. I am the one who made him suffer for no damn reason. I am the one who made his world more miserable than before. I'm the reason why his smile almost faded away. I'm the reason why he almost stopped smiling.

He had been my boyfriend for 9 months, and our bond was strong. He makes you feel like you're the luckiest girl because you have him. He never fails to make me smile. Even just a lop-sided smile, it can make the world brighter.

Yes, he was the boy with Haechan. The boy who can make the flowers grow and drive the storm away. His smile is like a virus. When he places it on his beautiful lips, you'll eventually smile for no reason.

Everytime I have a bad day, he was always there to cheer me up. A hug in the back, a smile, I was all well. When you hate him because he did something wrong, a smile of him can make you forgive him.

His smile can heal. His smile is his charm. When he laughs, it's like he was making the world much brighter. His laughs and smiles is way brighter than the future ahead of me.

You all know why I broke up with him. I broke up with him just because I thought I liked Ten. That fucking digit.

Ten is Jaemin's cousin. Jaemin introduced him to me when it was his birthday. Starting from that, Ten and I spend a lot of time because we have so much in common.

I was like.. walking away from Jaemin. My feelings were confused as hell. Damn me. I hate myself for doing such thing. I fucking broke up with Jaemin because I thought Ten also likes me back.

I deserve to be in hell. God can't accept me. I mean.. Jaemin is a smiling angel. I feel like God sent him to Earth to be a blessing to all people he knows. He's the source of light in this cruel world.

I regretted breaking his heart. After that, I threw myself. I drank. I almost did drugs but Serim let me wake up. But I still drank. I hated me. I wasn't ready to face Jaemin at that time.

I know he isn't going to forgive me. I know he won't give his heart back. I know that he had moved on. I know that for him, everything was completely turning normal... but without me.

When I knew that Ten had a girlfriend, my face became thin. Very thin. I couldn't face anyone but Serim. I drank for three days, then I realized...

I realized that I still love Jaemin with all of my heart and soul. I still love him with every piece of me. I still love him more than myself.

But I know... after that incident, he wouldn't return anything.

He wouldn't love me with his heart and soul. He wouldn't love me with every piece of him. He wouldn't love me more than himself.

He doesn't deserve someone like me. He doesn't deserve someone who makes him sad. He doesn't deserve the cruelty of this world. He deserves someone who can return the love back to him. He deserves someone who can make him show his smile. He deserves all the love and protection in this world.

He's an angel.. And he never deserved a demon like me.

•••

"I told you, you don't wanna know." Serim commented. I looked at her with my worried eyes. "Hey, don't look at me like that. And.. The guy who has walking coloring books following him is Jaemin." Serim added.

I ate the last piece of cake on my plate. I emptied my mango shake. "Let's go." I was thankful I still happen to say that despite my voice turning sore. Serim heard me so we stood up and left the cafeteria.

"You want to go back to the room?"
She asked. I shook my head. "Let's stay at the garden for a while." I said. She slowly dragged me to a bench in the garden and let me sit in there.

"Here." She took out a water bottle from her bag and gave it to me. "Thanks." I forced a smile before claiming the bottle from her. "Hey, don't smile when there is nothing to smile to." She said.

I heaved a sigh. I was in the state of crying. Serim patted my back and rubbed it. "Cry. Let it all out. Besides, we're in an isolated bench." She said and rubbed my back again.

This time, I let all the emotions I have inside to flow out. I sobbed, again. Serim hugged me. "Let it out." She rubbed my back while hugging me.

"J-Jaemin.. I'm.. I-I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry. I-I was stupid.. I'm a demon to you. Y-You don't deserve me.." I whispered while crying. My back was rising up and down.

Will he still forgive me after all that? Huh. I think no.

•••

Jaemin's POV

"Oh, come on, Donghyuck! Give me that ice cream!" Renjun shouted at Haechan who was raising the cup of ice cream. "Ha. Shortie." Haechan said.

"Hyung, give that to Renjun hyung. This is why you're so ugly." Jisung commented, earning a laugh from all of us. Haechan finally gave the ice cream to Renjun and almost choked Jisung. "Hey, hey!" Mark stopped Haechan.

"Say that again." Haechan dared. "You ugly human being." Jisung replied with a cute smirk. "Hey guys. Stop it." I said. "Says the popular one." Donghyuck whispered.

Chenle laughed loudly with his dolphin-like scream. "Ugh! How many times do I have to tell you to not scream in our ears?! Damn you, Chenle." Haechan attacked Chenle.

They were a mess in my back then two people caught my attention. The one was leaning on the second one. The second girl rubbed the other girl's back and said something I can't make out.

The second girl was familiar. I looked closely and then realized who it was. It's Serim, JiEun's roommate and bestfriend.

And I'm guessing the first girl is.. JiEun. But why is she crying? I sighed heavily. Was it because of that incident?

Her back was rising up and down, meaning that it's critical. My heart started to pound.

She shouldn't cry that much... Why?

Her heart is weak..

•••
A/N:
Hey! How was it? I am like JiEun tho. When I cry critically, my back rises up and down. But my heart's not weak. But crying critically makes the heart weak. Get it?

Comment and vote! See you in the next chapter!

Annyeong!

-DONGSOXKIE💫