A Broken Heart

He Broke My Heart

After Refuge, Ryan texted me saying: I don't think this is going to work out. I started tearing up in my eyes. I texted him: Are we breaking up? And he didn't think I would act this way. I was crying and freaking out. He asked me to talk and I couldn't even move my hands because I was so shaky and I couldn't type. I told him as soon as I could I love my hands again that I had to go. I was so upset because the love of my life just broke my heart into pieces. It felt like a knife stabbing me over and over again. I don't know how I could have been so stupid. I don't know why I dated someone who probably never even loved me. He probably said that because he felt bad. I had these thoughts that wouldn't go away. They just stayed in that position. I kept thinking about those thoughts over and over again. Maybe he never even wanted to date me. Maybe he was using me. Who knows. The person I trusted broke me into two. I couldn't even talk to him. He hurt me so much that I never wanted to see him but sooner or later I just let it go but it still hurts me a lot. I still think about him. I still think about the time we had. I should get rid of those memories but they just keep playing on replay in my head. I can't let it go. Whenever he broke my heart, I just could not handle the pressure and I couldn't handle anything. My love for him died. He just stabbed me over and over again. I wish that would go away but he is always on my mind even when he shouldn't be. He can leave but I don't think I want him too.