SECRETLY INLOVE

Chapter 41

"The pain that keeps me on doing crazy things as some sort of diversion and eventually led me to life events that's getting worse habang tumatagal."

"Totoo pala yung sabi nila na hindi masusukat ng oras o haba ng pinagsamahan ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao. Pwedeng mas mahal mo pa yung taong nakilala at nakasama mo lang for few months compared sa taong in a relationship ka for how many years."

"Totoo pala na we all have that one great love that will really put a mark in our hearts. Yung taong kahit ginawan ka ng mali at masama eh andiyan pa rin siya nakakabit sa buong pagkatao mo sa kabila ng lahat. Yung taong pilit mong binubura sa puso't isipan mo pero talagang hindi mo magawa."

"Totoo pala na kahit may mahal ka ng iba and really happy with your present life or relationship ay patuloy ka pa ring mumultuhin ng nakaraan mo with this one great love but you're just emotionally stable and logical enough now to move forward at hindi na magpakatanga pa."

"Pero alam mo sa sarili mong andiyan pa rin talaga siya sa kaloob-looban mo.
Yung feeling na pooh tongue ina if all the stars will align lang talaga and the universe will conspire, yung aayon yung dalawang mundo ninyo at mawawala lahat ng factors and considerations bakit hindi na pwedeng mabalik sa dati ang lahat, kung mangyayari lang talaga diba eh tongue ina walang pagdadalawang isip you'll really dive in again. You know she is the only thing that will fill your incompleteness and will give you genuine happiness na patuloy mong hinahanap sa mga maling tao at sa mga maling bagay kaya sobrang lost ka ngayon sa buhay mo at hindi malaman ang direksyon na tatahakin na kung pwede ngang mawala nalang sa mundo ng matapos na ang lahat."

"It was very short lived but that chapter is the happiest moment of my life. Every moment I spent with her is like a fairytale fantasy where I can only feel love and so much happiness. Everytime I stare at her, I can see myself waiting at the altar while she's walking down the aisle. Ganoon ko siya kamahal that I saw myself marrying her. I realigned all my plans in life towards her direction. Ginawa kong mundo yung dapat ay tao lang. Sobrang mahal na mahal ko siya that I'm willing to sacrifice everything even losing my very self dahil yung ikaliligaya niya ay siyang literal ng naging kaligayahan ko.
One day I bought this 4-carat set matrimonial engagement rings for over a million and a half peso. I picked the best that I can afford that time for the woman that I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
Judgement day came, on a private white sand beach in Visayas. I waited for the sunset until my former buddy summoned her towards the bonfire near the shore where I'm standing at. I gave my melodramatic speech for few minutes until a skydiver landed beside us as planned, handing over the ring box to me. I knelt down and opened the box then asked her the big thing. She cried so hard and walked away, leaving me on my knees like a piece of ssss. I can see nothing but plain black and a dancing bonfire. I can't put into words what I felt that time. My buddy and the skydiver picked me up and the rest is history. She immediately blocked me from everything, cutting all our possible means of communication. I never got a chance to talk to her again since that awful day, the most painful day of my life. I still love her so much up to this day. Still her, after all.
But what is life without pain? What is life without heartbreaks? I know one day all our wounds shall be healed and we'll find ourselves again. Like a phoenix, burned and dead inside, we will rise from the ashes. Kapit lang. The sun will shine on us again."

"And after that sinful incident, I met Casandra, Casandra is always beside me hindi niya ako pinabayaan and the accident came, and everything vanish."umiiyak kong sabi haggang siya na ang nagtanong.

"Do you still love the girl na ng iwan sayo sa mismong kasal mo? Do you complain na may ayaw lang siyang masira sa buhay mo kaya siya umalis? Kung babalik ba siya para ayusin ang sinira niya, Do you accept her?" Makahulugang tanong niya, na nakapag pakaba saakin.

"If she's going to be back para magpakita saakin? Maaalat maala ko ang nakaraan na siyang dahilan kung bakit ko nakilala si Casandra. Kung makikita ko siya I will thanks to her na ng dahil sakanya hindi lahat sakin mangyayari to."

"Lyndon love..."

#diko talaga alam mag-pabitin huhu