The Beauty in the Darkness (Frerard)

~Chapter 2: This Is How I Disappear~

We rode in silence. Leaving room for my thoughts to start going wild again. I finally found a parking spot and Mikey got out as fast as humanly possible.

I made my way to my first-period class, careful to keep my head down and avoid everyone's judging gaze. The hushed whispers of my classmates filled my ears as I passed by. I heard my name thrown into their sentences with malice. 

They all think I'm a freak of nature, which to some extent, they aren't wrong but it still really fucking hurts.

They all hate you.

Oh no here we go again. I tried to shut it out but it's deafening.

They wouldn't even care if you dropped dead on the floor.

I sat down in my seat and began to scratch my arm discretely under my shirt sleeve.

They would be better off without you.

Someone kicked the back of my chair and I tensed up. My breath cames out in heavy jagged waves. The tide picked up and I couldn't stop it.

"Everyone pull out your homework from last night and turn it in!" My teacher yelled from the front of the classroom. Unfortunately for me, I didn't do said homework because I fell asleep as soon as I got home from school.

You're so fucking useless you can't even do your stupid math homework.

Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP.

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" I screamed. Oh god, I said that out loud. Everyone turned and stared at me.

"Excuse me, Mr. Way, I will not tolerate that kind of language or behavior in my class. Please see me in the hallway." Oh shit oh shit oh shit. My breathing got heavier and the threat of tears burned my eyes. A few people snickered from the other side of the room.

"No, please I-I-I swear I wasn't talking to you I-I just- I can't- I can't." I stuttered out, shaking my head. More people laughed and whispered to each other in hushed voices.

"I don't care. Hallway. Now." Her voice was as stern as her expression.

See even your teacher doesn't care.

I close my eyes and try to calm down.

"Look the little freak doesn't know what to do." I heard one of the boys in my class say through his laughter. Anger clouded my mind and I shot him a glare. "Oh god, now he's probably going to kill me like he killed his parents." I got up from my chair in a fury stomped over to the boy, whose name I never even bothered to remember.

He's right you're the reason they're dead. If you hadn't been so stupid, none of that would have ever happened.

"Don't fucking talk about my parents, asshole," I growled through grit teeth.

"Mr. Way come with me right now!" My teacher hissed.

Pathetic piece of shit.

The boy snickered and I lashed out and attacked him. I shoved him harshly and he fell hitting his head on a desk with force. My mind went numb as I jumped on top of him, the only sensation coming from my hand connecting with his face. Red painted my vision and I couldn't stop myself anymore. I continued bashing his head in until two arms, belonging to who I can only assume was my teacher, pulled me off of the unconscious boy who was now all bloody and bruised. I clawed at the arms holding me back and struggled against them crying and screaming bloody murder. I broke free from the iron grip of my teacher and ran out of school.

My legs pumped for a while until my chest was plagued with an aching fire, begging me for a break. I stopped and looked around me. I vaguely knew where I was but it was miles from my home. It all became so overwhelming and I broke down again.

Great just add this to the list of fuck ups.

Hot tears started to paint down my cheeks and my mind flooded with questions. Why the hell am I like this? Why can't I just be normal? Did I kill that boy? Oh god, what is Mikey going to think? Or my grandma?

They'd be better off without a stupid fuck like you.

I sat down in the grass and cried for what felt like hours until I was interrupted by a buzzing coming from my pocket. I wiped my tear-streaked face and took out my phone. The screen read Mikey.

I hesitated unsure whether or not to answer, fearing he would never forgive me. I looked around realizing that I had no other option than to face my little brother.

"H-hey Mikes." I struggled out unable to stop my voice from shaking.

"Oh my god, Gerard where the fuck are you? What the hell I- just please tell me you're safe and- what's going on Gerard?" His voice sounded panicked and it was obvious that he had been crying.

Good job asshole, you made your brother cry.

"I don't- I- I don't know where I am." My voice broke and more tears broke free, sliding down my face in streams. "I'm so sorry Mikey. I-I don't know- I don't know what happened." I cursed at the way my voice quivered as I spoke.

"It's ok Gerard just look around you and try to find something that tells you where you are."

"I see- I see a-a road. I didn't run for all that long- I just-I- I don't know Mikes. There's- there are trees and- I think there's a street sign here." I stopped and looked at the sign. "I'm on the east side of town. Near the park, I think. Oh god, Mikey, I'm so- god, I'm so sorry."

"Gerard it's ok, calm down. I'll stay on the phone with you until we find you. Just stay where you are."

"O-o-ok." I waited for what seemed like hours sobbing until I ran out of tears, occasionally giving Mikey directions to help him find me.

Finally, my grandma's little blue car pulled up in front of me. Mikey hung up the phone and bolted out of the car, enveloping me in a tight hug. He started crying.

"Gerard you scared me so bad-I- I thought-oh god- I thought I lost you again." He chocked out while sniffling a bit. I stroked his light brown hair in an attempt to calm him down.

"Shhhh it's ok Mikes I'm here. I'm here."

"Oh god, what are we going to do Gerard? You put that kid in the hospital and I- you could go to jail Gerard."

"I know-I know it'll be ok let's just go home for now."

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Hope you like it and again sorry for any errors.