Angry scratches tainted my paper white skin. My nails were jagged and harsh as they tore at the flesh. The fiery burn subsided and left me wondering why the hell I do this to myself. It's both torturous but blissful all at the same time.
Insane,
that's what they would call me.
Just a sucker for the darkness that consumes me. Without fear of consequences. Holding on to the distraction that the pain brings me. Giving me relief from my thoughts. Even if it's only temporary.
You're worthless.
They screamed.
Everyone hates you.
Useless.
Stupid.
Just a burden to the world.
I just wanted it to stop. I hated myself so much because I knew it was stupid. I knew I was just paranoid. I knew I was crazy. All I ever did was freak out about absolutely nothing. But I couldn't stop it and it was useless to even try.
You're useless.
Anxiety crept around me, lashing out its thorny tendrils, snaking their way into my head. I was hopeless. Completely hopeless. Tears started to spill from my eyes and I cursed myself for giving in to the thoughts. I'm weak and it's pointless to fight it.
A loud knocking on the bathroom door sent me back into reality.
"Gerard! Fucking hurry up in there! I need to piss and we are going to be late for school." I heard my little brother Mikey yell from the other side of the door. He jiggled the doorknob, making me thankful that I locked the door. I wiped away some of the tears that fell on my face and pulled myself off of the cold tile floor.
"Hold on! Jeez, you're so impatient." I turn on the sink, hoping that Mikey didn't notice the sorrow in my voice. The last thing I need is him worrying, especially not after the events of last month.
My reflection stared back at me. With its sunken eyes and jet black hair. My eyes were puffy and red, tainted with the effects of my crying session. The water was cold as I splashed it onto my face and washed my horrid scratches. I pulled down the sleeves of my jacket to hide the red lines on my arm and opened the door, careful to keep my head down and away from Mikey's cold glare.
"Gerard. Look at me." Oh shit. "I'm not stupid, I know you've been crying."
"I don't want to talk about it, Mikey."I muttered."Just get ready so we can get to school."
"No, you can't keep avoiding your problems, Gerard. We both know how that works out." He shot me another glare his voice cold and harsh.
"Shut the fuck up Mikey you have no idea what you're talking about." I clenched my jaw and crossed my arms, knowing exactly where he was going with this.
"Then what the hell was it?! What the fuck made you try to kill yourself, Gerard?!" I stayed quiet and looked down in shame, chewing on my bottom lip. "Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" His voice cracked and a pang of guilt rocked through me.
So stupid... he should have let you die.
"Mikey please stop. I-I can't do this right now."
"Yeah, of course, you can't." He scoffed and shut the door to the bathroom with force. Things just haven't been the same between me and Mikey since our parents died in a car accident and we were forced to move in with our grandma Elena. They really haven't been the same since he found me passed out on the bathroom floor, barely holding on to life just last month.
I went into the kitchen and grabbed a mug for my coffee. I sipped the bitter drink hoping to calm my nerves. After about 10 minutes Mikey walked into the kitchen. He ignored me and grabbed himself some coffee. The back door slammed loudly as Mikey stormed out of the house to go wait in the car. I had a bad feeling about this day.
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Hello! Welcome! This is my first time writing a fic so sorry if it absolutely sucks haha. (I write a lot of other stuff but it's usually like angsty songs and random thoughts) Also, this is going to be a pretty dark fic so be warned but that's just how my brain works :/
Sorry for any errors I tried to edit as much as I could but my brain is fried.
Since this is my first fic, here are some things you should know:
1. I have no idea when I will update. I already have a few chapters written but school is a bitch so I will get them out when I can.
2. I am totally open to criticism/suggestions and if you have any questions or just want to chat feel free to message me.
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The Beauty in the Darkness (Frerard)
FanficGerard Way's life changed forever the day his parents died in a car accident. That's the day he became an orphan, and was forced to move in with his grandma Elena. That's the day when the depression and anxiety set in, taking over his life. That's w...
