The Beauty in the Darkness (Frerard)

~Chapter 6: Thank You For the Venom~

~Frank's POV~
*TRIGGER WARNING*
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Gerard.

Gerard, Gerard, Gerard.

I couldn't tell you what was so special about him. I don't know why I wanted to taste his name on my lips and shout it from the heavens. But I couldn't. I couldn't say a word. Not then, not ever. No sound should ever leave my lips. No breath should ever make too much noise.

Silence is safe. Silence is good.

I couldn't talk so I just thought. I thought about the boy sleeping in the bed just a few feet away. The way his broken eyes lit up just a little bit when he laughed. The way his breaths cut through the quiet in the room. Normally that would freak me out, but it was Gerard. He was so beautiful and amazing. He was also dangerous. He made me want to talk.

You can't get caught.

Gerard would've been worth it.

No.

I hadn't spoken in 6 months and it was going to stay that way. I couldn't break that for Gerard. I barely even knew him. But I hated the way he looked so sad and tormented almost as much as I hated myself.

I wish I knew why he felt so broken. I wish I could've helped him. But helping required talking. And I couldn't talk.

Silence is safe. Silence is good.

Remember what he did to you? What he did because you spoke? Remember how it hurt? How it made you feel?

Worthless. He made you worthless. All because you were a dumbass and had to talk. You were too loud and you paid the price.

So dirty. So disgusting.

Gerard started to stir in his bed and his breathing turned ragged.  His heavy breaths turned into whimpers and I realized he was having a nightmare.

"No! No please!" He cried. I had to help him. I had to stop him. I jumped out of my bed and ran over to him. I shook his shoulders, but he didn't wake up. I continued to shake him but he was still sucked into the horror of his dreams. I frantically searched for a solution, I couldn't just let him suffer. I knew the only way I could help him was to wake him up and to wake him up, I would have to speak.

"Gerard! Wa-Wake up it's- it's ok!" My voice was raspy and it shook as I spoke. It felt so wrong to talk again. However, I knew it was for the right reason.

Gerard quickly sat up and his eyes shot open. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. His breathing calmed down as I held him close. He was crying and I hated it.

"Shhhh i-it's ok don't cry." I soothed. My pulse was racing as I talked. Gerard was worth it though. He was worth any punishment.

What the hell is wrong with you? You don't even know him! He probably doesn't even want to talk to a gross piece of shit like you.

"You-you're- you're talking." He chocked out. "Your voice, it's uh, it's beautiful." He brushed away the hair that was falling into my eyes, revealing my blushing face. I bit my lip and played with my lip ring bashfully, hoping that the dark ambiance of the room would hide my awkwardness. "Th- thank you I'm um sorry for waking you up and um making you talk. You didn't have to do that."

"Don't apologize, I never went to sleep so you didn't wake me up."

"Frank! You need to sleep." He scolded.

"I- I can't sleep," I said in shame, my voice just a slight whisper.

"Why not?"

"I um- what did you dream about?" I avoided his question.