The Rest of the Story

Chapter 2 -- The Revelation

Percy condo was as impressive as Tammy had described it. Percy had not only got a big pay raise with her new job, she receives travel per diem for her many intercontinental assignments which was tax free.

As Sonja informed me, the Concierge was expecting me and as soon I showed her my ID gave me keys to the condo and a parking pass.

I was tired from the trip and only looked to see which bedroom would be mine before I opened my suitcase and got out the things that I would need to shower and shave. My clothes were hanging so I didn't have to worry about wrinkles. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The second night, I walked through the whole condo. Tammy was right, the condo was extraordinary. Two sides were all windows. You could look out and see D.C. in the distance. There were a lot of photos of people I guessed to be her family and even a couple of us at NCIS.

Most would not take Percy for the girly girl but I found out that they would be wrong. Beautiful, well elegant is what I would say about her bedroom. I don't think I had seen anything like it except in a magazine.

Here I found more photos of the team and surprisingly a number of just her and me. As I looked at them, I tried to remember the situation around where we were. There are several in the bar that I don't remember at all. I never noticed that smile just like that or the dimple in her chin. There were a couple with my arm around her. When did that happen and I wonder who took them? But most of all I noticed my own face. Unlike the last six months, I looked very happy. The joy in laughing with her was so apparent. Well, the next word that came to my mind was stupid. LaSalle what were you thinking I thought to myself. You just watched her walk away and said nothing.

I turned the light off and shut the door. This is going to be a long stretch. I could smell the residue of her perfume throughout the condo now. I checked my messages and then pulled out my assignment for class the next day. It was hard to concentrate. My heart realized suddenly that I missed Percy. No, I miss Sonja. I tossed and turned all night and finally got up about four to go downstairs and run on the treadmill. I was still unsettled and finally just decided to drive to the installation.

One of the most difficult days being a sworn officer has to be when you lose a team member. Unspoken among many is the ritual of writing a personal letter to a close loved one in case you don't return home alive. King gave me one for his daughter several years ago and then one for Rita just last year. Personally I could never write one. I called momma often before Katrina. Afterwards, I went into a dark hole for several years but started back up with the weekly calls again last year.

One night while working on a paper for the class, I realized that I needed red ink to correct the fifth rendition of the paper. I searched through Percy's desk. In the back of the center drawer I found an envelope with my name on it. There was no debate on whether I should open it. Since it had my name on it I did and there I found the "dread letter" from Sonja to me.

Dear Chris

If you are reading this letter, it means that Tammy has searched my desk for additional contact information for my family and found this envelope with your name on it.

This is my fourth attempt at trying to write this letter over several days. Tonight, reinforced with my favorite wine and music from Luther Vandross, I am going to do my best to actually get the task accomplished.

We both know that our relationship has been, well, odd. For months you picked at me trying to understand who I was. For months I ran from you when I thought you were trying to get too close. When Savannah died, I wanted to do more for you but was stymied at your pain and the way that you chose to deal with it. Melody certainly didn't help and when you lost Tucker, I saw a different agony. I did what I thought was best – to try to be your friend. That is all I wanted.

The day of that stupid hug I saw something different in your eyes. You scared me Chris. I had seen that look from you before. It was one day when we were talking about Savannah coming back into your life and I was sitting in the car waiting for you. I saw the joy in your face at her being in your life. I saw that same look the day you hugged me. I was not ready for the hug or the look in your eyes knowing what could be attached to it.

You know that I was angry with you after we stopped Hamilton. After all you did for me, my heart responded to this man who kept me safe and did what he needed to do to get me out of that stupid mess that I had made for myself.

After Romon I questioned every man. When I realized that he had cost some good law officers their lives and almost mine, I could only ask myself how could I have been so stupid. In you I found a kind, attentive man.

So that night as we departed for Pride's burned out bar, I thought I would take the chance to tell you how I felt. To my surprise, you shut me down. To be honest, it was more like a slap in the face. And now, while it still hurts me that I didn't have a chance to explore an actual relationship with you, I do want you to know that your kindness and friendship to me has meant the world to me. I could never have chosen a better, more dedicated partner and friend.

I am hoping that you were not there when the end of my life came. Even if you were, I am sure that you have done everything that you could have to have prevented my death so please don't blame yourself.

Luther recorded this cut entitled "If Only for One Night". I went back and listened to it again a little while ago. I put it on a flash drive and will enclose it in the envelope. I'm not sure if I could have penned a better series of words to tell you how I feel given how our relationship has panned out.

If Only for One Night

Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night

I won't tell a soul
No one has to know
If you want to be totally discreet
I'll be at your side
If only for one night

Your eyes say things i never hear from you
And my knees are shakin too
But I'm willin to go thru
I must be crazy
Standin in this place
But I'm feeling no disgrace

For asking

Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night

I tell you what i need is
One night, one night oh (and oh, oh)
What I need is
One night, one night
Of your love, of you love, of your lovin ooh

I'm asking

Let me take you home
To keep you safe and warm
Till the early dawn
Warms up to the sun
It would be so nice if only for one night

If only for one night
If only for one night
If only for one night, night, night, yeah one night
If only for one, night

I want to wish you all the happiness in the world. And since I couldn't be her, I trust that you will someday find the woman of your dreams. The woman who can help you fulfill your deepest ambitions and bare you children and maintain a house of joy.

I will never forget you Christopher LaSalle. Never.

I never knew. Well I think that I didn't really want to know. The day that Sonja and King got on that tug was the day that I was finally confronted with how much I cared about her. I objected to her getting on that boat because deep inside my being I knew was a great possibility that she wouldn't be coming back alive.

That night I put down a few too many drinks as I recounted my many months working with her. Dedicated, hard headed, stubborn, aggravating and closed minded are some of the first descriptive words that would come to one's mind about Sonja Percy. But as I sat stewing over my beer the thought of friend, sister, comforter, and tough gal were what I wanted to believe, but the word lover kept coming to mind too. I sat there and realized that somewhere in time this firecracker had found pieces of my heart that were open to her uniqueness. When I wasn't looking she had inserted herself into my hopes and dreams and current reality. Shit, I had fallen in love with Sonja Percy.

Well, now I know and have the opportunity to think about what I want to do next. Since she will not return until after I am gone I'll have time to think about what I might want to do. A long distance relationship? Woah Christopher, you don't even know if she still feels this way about you.